PUSHKING: The World as We Love It

Produced by Fabrizio Grossi
Released: February 2011

[The scene opens on a rehearsal space somewhere in Russia. Five guys who define the term "ageing rocker" are sitting around the room]


Roman Nevelev: Hey Koha, we've been playing these bad 80s power ballads for years and we are still not rock stars! What to do?


[Konstantin "Koha"Shustarev puts down his crack pipe]


Koha: I know! I will write list of people to sing and play on album, then I shall ring Rock Headquarters in America. They will help us. [writes list]


Dmitriy Losev: [reads list] Steve Vai? Nuno Bettencourt? Billy Gibbons? Joe Bona-fucking-massa? What do I play on album now?


Koha: Hahah. You funny.


[Cut to Rock Headquarters. The phone rings]


Keri Kelli: Yo, Rock Headquarters! Hiya, Koha. The album is called what? You wanna do what? Well... um... send me the list and I'll see if they're available.


[Tears list off fax. Walks back to phone, reading]


Kelli: ...Graham Bonnet ...Alice ...Paul Stanley. Wow, really? ...Glenn and Joe ...JLT


[He looks up and sees Steve Vai.]


Kelli: Hey Steve, you wanna play on a song called "My Reflections on Seeing the 'Schindler's List' Movie"?


Steve Vai: Are you making fun of me?


[Sometime later, backstage at a venue somewhere. Billy Gibbons answers the phone]


Billy Gibbons: Oh yeah guys, yes I got the song. I can do it now if you like. I'll just sing into the phone. How will that be? A solo too? [deep sigh] OK. What? Two songs!


[A glamorous bedroom. A girl in a bikini walks over to the bed with a phone. Paul Stanley looks up from counting a huge pile of money]


Paul Stanley: Sure, I'm not doing anything! Yes, of course I love the song. The money's been wired to my account, yes?

None of this probably happened, but I'd like to think that it did, because that would make this at least as awesome as Spinal Tap. In fact, Pushking is what Spinal Tap would be if they were a real band, came from Russia, and wrote diabolical melodic rock power ballads. And sucked. Really, really sucked.

The World as We Love It features some of the worst melodic rock songs I've ever heard. There's nothing about them that's good. They aren't even so-bad-they're-good. They're just fucking atrocious. Even the performances by some of the greatest names in rock - Alice Cooper, Paul Stanley, Billy motherfucking Gibbons - are poor, like they were all embarassed to be part of it but couldn't say no because Russian Mafia guys were holding their families hostage. There's really no other way to explain it. I mean just look at this list of guests: Nuno Bettencourt. Steve Lukather. Joe Bonnamassa. Joe Lynn Turner. Jeff Scott Soto. Dan McCafferty. John Lawton. And none of them can save it. Not even Glenn Hughes!

This album is so bad it made me wish I was listening to Limp Bizkit instead. I would have been less ashamed if I'd been caught masturbating outside a school.

1. Intro
2. Nightrider
3. It''ll be OK
4. Troubled Love
5. Stranger's Song
6. Cut the Wire
7. My Reflections After Seeing the 'Schindler's List' Movie
8. God Made Us Free
9. Why Don't You?
10. I Believe
11. Tonight
12. Private Own
13. Open Letter to God
14. Nature's Child
15. I Love You
16. Head Shooter
17. Heroin
18. My Simple Song
19. Kukarracha

Rating: 10%

SEGRESSION: Never Dead

Produced by Chris Rand
Released: April 2011

When Segression slipped off the radar almost a decade ago they were still at the top of their game. While their self-titled album had come in for some pretty heavy criticism, they were still touring strongly and remained highly popular. Like the sorely-missed Alchemist (what is the story there?), they just sort of stopped. Perhaps because they never came to an inglorious and ignominious end like so many others, when they returned last year to tour with Fozzy there were as many people there to see them as there was for the headliner. Since then anticipation has been high for the release of this new album. At least one review has already called it the best Australian metal album ever, and while I'm not about to go that far, it is certainly not a disappointment for those Segression fans who've been waiting nine years for a new release.


Never Dead is by far the most diverse and consistent album this band has yet made. Unlike previous albums, which occasionally steered a course rather too close to their influences, on Never Dead Segression answers to no one. Really, this doesn't sound much like any other band that's around at the moment. More than anything they've done before, Segression defines what they are with this release. It still bears the band's hallmarks and the distinctive riffing style, the squeal of pinch harmonics and Chris Rand's idiosyncratic vocal delivery will definitely please the fans.

One of the major criticisms levelled at Segression in the past was their stylistic shift from the aggressive Machine Head-style thrash bristling with guitar solos to the chugging, breakdown-laden style of later on. On Never Dead the band has embraced both aspects of their past and turned them into a cohesive whole. The riff-heavy "Blood Lace Black Day" takes the lead strongly and is it apparent that soloing is very much a part of Segression’s oeuvre once more. Timely injections of lead guitar serve to add an element of venom to Segression's already spiteful sound in tracks like "The Wishing Well", "Gaspipe" (that hearkens back to the L.I.A. days) and the epic and heavy "L.T.P.C.". Later, in "Let Me Be Me" Rand drops some hard rhyming over the extended breakdown on a track that recalls the Smile album. Then out of nowhere they thrown in a complete surprise, slipping in the two-part, Zakk Wylde-like "Reality Playroom" that sounds like nothing they've ever done before and on the infectious "Candleneck" they hit on something that stands apart from most of the metal currently circulating.

Never Dead isn’t just a comeback. It’s more like a mission statement, and that mission is to play what they play on their own terms, just like before. Old fans, take note: Segression is back. New fans, take the same note.

1. Blood Lace Black Day
2. Never Dead
3. Hero Anthem
4. The Wishing Well
5. Gaspipe
6. Reality Playground Pt. 1
7. Reality Playground Pt. 2
8. L.T.P.C.
9. Let Me Be Me
10. Candleneck
11. Shattering of a Dream
12. Misery

Rating: 85%

CLAGG: Lord of the Deep

Produced by Clagg and Jason PC
Released: 2011

There's few things I like better than a good doom record, and Melbourne veterans Clagg know how to make really good doom records. With the first pressing sold out, Obsidian Records has re-released this in a slightly variant configuration, and fans of epic-scale riff thunder should rejoice. Lord of the Deep is like a vast submarine behemoth slowing uncoiling itself from the bottom of the sea and rising inexorably toward the surface, intent on crushing everything it finds, rather like the monstrocity detailed in Boyd Potts' typically disturbed artwork.


To give you some idea of the scope of this recording, its six songs sprawl across 67 minutes. The enormous opener "Carrion" takes almost five minutes to build up into its signature riff; at the six minute mark it shifts a gear into a nice mid-paced groove, then changes pace again further on as it spreads it murky tendrils across more than quarter of an hour of ultimate doom. "Lord of the Deep" emerges next, with a minute of feedbacking guitars then making way for a thunderous rumble that slows down so much into the third minute that it makes diSEMBOWELMENT sound like a speed metal band, and at the halfway mark it gets more glacial still. The word "epic" could have been invented to describe this track. "Buried" with its dirty guitars ups the tempo slighty, but it's still long enough for light from the Sun to reach the earth's surface before its over. And as huge as the riffs are in these songs, it's possible that "Devour the Sun" is even more immense as it too slowly grinds out over a ten-minute period. This new version concludes with a faithful cover of Iron Monkey's "Big Loader" that fits right in to Clagg's monstrously sludgy vision.

Lord of the Deep is an evil-sounding, gradually-unfurling picture of musical enormity, the perfect accompaniment to a gloomy afternoon rolling into a stormy evening.

1. Carrion
2. Lord of the Deep - i. They Dream Fire ii. At the Rising of the Storm
3. Buried
4. The Harvest
5. Devour the Sun
6. Big Loader

Rating: 90%

FRANCIS ROSSI - Live at St Luke's London

Released April 2010

Status Quo was one of the most boring bands on Earth, but despite this they moved massive amounts of albums in the 70s (sales now top an incredible 117 million) and their legacy of clod-simple three chord blues rock eventually led to band leader Francis Rossi being awarded an OBE. Live at St. Luke's London is Rossi chugging through a selection from his vast catalogue of samey-sounding songs with all the passion of a man being led to the gallows. You can tell what this album is going to be like just by the cover, which looks like the sort of thing you'd see old people buying from the bargain bin out front of the record store.

Which is what it is.

A nice catchy shuffle version of "Caroline" sets this off on the right foot, but it's almost as if this one song has taken up all his energy, like when your grandma dances like a monkey at your 21st for two minutes and then has to sit down for the rest of the night. The set quickly settles into middle of the road blues and country rock, like an Eric Clapton album if he played the same song over and over again. There's a reason why people still flock to see AC/DC while no one listens to Status Quo anymore. They may both use the same three chords, but AC/DC vary the diet across the scope of a set. Plus, they rock fucking harder than anyone. Rossi's hooks really are all pretty much exactly alike and this is one of the most pedestrian performances in rock history. While his son is a pretty handy lead guitarist there is no magic here whatsoever. Worst of all, this drags on for a mind-numbing 73 minutes of excruciating tepidity. For some reason, even though this is a live album, there's a slight gap between each song too. I wondered why that was for a moment, but then I realised that I simply don't care.

Perhaps your dad or even grandad might want this if they also have every Status Quo album ever, but surely if that's the case they're already boring enough.

1. Caroline
2. Claudie
3. All I Really Want to Do
4. You'll Come Around
5. Crazy for You
6. Strike Like Lightning
7. Tallulah's Waiting
8. Tongue Tied
9. Blessed are the Meek
10. My Little Heartbreaker
11. Electric Arena
12. One Step at a Time
13. Marguerita Time
14. Rolling Down the Road
15. Diggin' Burt Bacharach
16. Sleeping on the Job
17. Twenty Wild Horses
18. Can't Give You More

Rating: 20%

KEITH EMERSON BAND feat. Marc Bonilla: Moscow

Produced by Marc Bonilla and Keith Wechsler
Released: April 2011

The name Keith Emerson is writ large in the history of progressive rock. His 70s band Emerson, Lake and Palmer sit as one of the cornerstones of the movement and works like Brain Salad Surgery and Pictures at an Exhibition remain undisputed classics to this day.

Moscow is a two-disc live recording of Emerson's solo band taken from a show in 2008. While the set unsuprisingly focuses on highlights from both versions of ELP, it also features other material, including the very beautiful "Miles Away" and also "Marche Train", co-written with guitarist and singer Marc Bonilla from the self-titled album they were promoting at the time. Moscow is a showcase for Emerson's grand, showy and always engaging mix of bombast and elegance as the band works through sections of "Karn Evil" and an extended version of "Piano Concerto (3rd Movement)" and also highlights his songcraft with selections like "Touch and Go". The performance is staggeringly faultless and Bonilla's shiny, somewhat homogenised production gives it the feel of a studio album, however, somewhat detracting from the concert experience a "live" album should create

The highlight of the album of course is the 35-minute version of "Tarkus" which sprawls across the second disc, bracketed by Bartók's "The Barbarian" and a rock version of Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite" . While some may not appreciate an already long song being made even longer, given the context of the song's theme and its popularity among Russian audiences it would be hard to imagine a more fitting climax to this performance.

For completists and diehards, this will of course be an essential purchase. It's also a decent place for the curious listener to discover a cross-section of Emerson's work without having to delve into the formidable collection of compilations and box sets he's amassed. A more casual audience is likely to find Moscow pretty heavy going however, but that's something that could be said for anything Keith's ever done.

CD 1:
1. Karn Evil 9 (1st Impression)
2. Piano Concerto (3rd Movement)
3. Bitches Crystal
4. Malambo
5. Touch and Go
6. Lucky Man
7. Miles Away Pt 1.
8. Miles Away Pt. 2
9. Crusader's Cross
10. Fugue
11. Marche Train
12. Finale

CD 2:
1. The Barbarian
2. Tarkus
3. Nutrocker Suite
 
Rating: 75%

URIAH HEEP: Into the Wild

Produced by Mike Paxman
Released: Today

If you're tired of what today's music scene has to offer, then Uriah Heep's Into the Wild may be the cure for what ails you. Recorded between December and February last, this album sounds like it just fell out of a time warp from 1978. It's like Mick Box and the lads have spent the last thirty years listening to nothing but their own back catalogue and the Gillan-period Deep Purple albums.


They kick the album off with a couple of decent if non-essential 70s-style hard rock tracks. I can understand them starting out like this, but really these two songs are among the weakest on the album, especially "I Can See You" with its cheesy "She's the candle that lights my room/Better watch out coz it's coming soon" line. Still, they let you know to be prepared for some rock, and the Heep certainly deliver. When the keys float in and the organ starts to surge at the beginning of the title track is when Into the Wild takes off as Box chops out a classic driving rock riff and vocalist Bernie Shaw really hits his stride. The catchy, organ-driven rocker "Money Talk" follows, with Box sprinkling bursts of guitar all over, and "I'm Ready" follows the same template. At this point, Uriah Heep switches to prog mode with the glorious six-and-a-half minute "Trail of Diamonds" that could have come directly from their fabled past and will surely bring a tear to the eye of any old 70s rocker in the audience. The back half of the album has its share of gems also, particularly the hook-ridden "Lost", although "Kiss of Freedom" is rather twee and I could have done without the 80s melodic rock throwback "T-Bird Angel". Overall however, this is really quite a good album that doesn't pander to any kind of modern trend whatsoever and wholly the type of album you'd expect from a band that's been in business longer than your dad has probably been alive.

For fans of classic rock, Into the Wild is like buying a brand new armchair that already has your arse-groove in it. Just open a few cans of KB and you'll be right at home.

1. Nail on the Head
2. I Can See You
3. Into the Wild
4. Money Talk
5. I'm Ready
6. Trail of Diamonds
7. Lost
8. Believe
9. Southern Star
10. T-bird Angel
11. Kiss of Freedom

Rating: 75%

JEFF MARTIN 777: The Ground Cries Out

Produced by Jeff Martin
Released: April 2011

With Sarah Palin and her kooky cohorts ruining the legacy of The Tea Party with their unhinged shenanigans, Jeff Martin delved deep into his extensive knowledge of arcane lore and found a name for his latest musical outlet it in the work of Aleister Crowley. The Ground Cries Out is the debut release for Jeff Martin 777, a three piece combo of which the other elements are Sleepy Jackson alumni J Cortez and Malcolm Clark.


Those familiar with The Tea Party’s work won’t find any huge surprises here. A supremely confident individual, Martin already knows what works for him and hasn’t felt the need to reinvent himself or contemporise to appeal to a market. The Ground Cries Out follows his signature style of atmospheric, Zeppelin-accented rock and exotic, Oriental instrumentation.

The title track instantly puts the listener on familiar terrain. Over a darkly textured, Asian-flavoured musical background, Martin weaves his tales of mysticism and sex with that rich, sensual baritone. Amongst the layered bombast of "Santeria"and "The Cobra", the Led Zeppelin like “Queen of Spades” and the blues-tinged rocker “Riverland Rambler” there are delicate instrumentals like the Katoomba-inspired "Blue Mountain Sun", the moody ballad “She’s Leaving” and the sincerely beautiful "One Star in Sight" that easily ranks with Martin’s best. While he really isn’t exploring vast new musical territory, The Ground Cries Out should dispel any lingering idea he somehow lost his way on Seven Circles. This album continues Jeff Martin’s tradition for excellence and will certainly please his incredibly loyal following.

1. The Ground Cries Out
2. Queen of Spades
3. She's Leaving
4. The Cobra
5. 1916
6. The Meekong
7. One Star in Sight
8. Blue Mountain Sun
9. Santeria
10. Riverland Rambler
11. The Pyre
 
Rating: 95%

THE AMENTA: V01D

Produced by The Amenta
Released: March 2011

“Empty”, “Null”, “Nihil”, “Nil”, “None”, “V01D”. It’s easy to see the recurring theme that runs throughout this latest recording by Australia’s premier extreme noise technicians. The ambient bleeps, electronic beats, metallic scraping sounds and haunting soundscapes that sprawl across this album engender a harrowing, oppressive atmosphere of emptiness and cold sterility. Woven amongst them are the harsh, crushing and dense industrial death metal tracks with which The Amenta has set new standards for extreme metal in this country.


Essentially, "V01D" is a reimagining of several tracks collected from the past two albums, completely re-recorded with their latest line-up that now includes Australia’s most overlooked death metal vocalist, Cain Cressal. The general direction remains similar to the course they plotted with n0n, with the most significant differences in the delivery of the vocals and the enhanced clarity in the production, with some further enhancement of the atmospheric aspects. There’s also a nod to their influences with a cover of Armored Angel’s “Enigmatize” that is more or less faithful but with a modern polish and further experimentation with another four remixes that call to mind the work of Skinny Puppy and Front Line Assembly.

The second part of the package is video footage of one of the band’s live performances, captured in Sydney, and an awesomely gruesome Aphex Twin-style clip for “Vermin”.

It would have been easy for The Amenta to do something half-arsed when they’re giving it away free as a download, but with "V01D" they instead continue to uphold their reputation as one of the best Australian underground acts in circulation. And it costs you nothing, so seek it out.


1. Empty
2. V01D
3. Erebus
4. Ache
5. Junky
6. Spine
7. Null
8. Vermin
9. Nihil
10. Nil
11. Enigmatize
12. None
13. Junky (remix)
14. Nihil (remix)
15. Vermin (remix)
16. Erebus (remix)

DVD component:
1. Junky
2. Vermin
3. Mictlan
4. Erebus
5. Vermin (clip)

Rating: 91%

TRUTH CORRODED: Worship the Bled

Produced by Truth Corroded
Released: April 2011

Truth Corroded has been around for a long time now and with each album they've just got better and heavier. Worship the Bled is the culmination of their journey so far, a crushing, savage and brutal album that brooks no compromise from beginning to end.

A portentous intro of Mongolian throat-singing and noise erupts into a ominous opening riff played over the monstrous drumming of Kevin Talley, who pounds the skins on this recording, before subsequently exploding into ferocious high speed thrash reminiscent of Hatesphere. Then just when you think "Knives of the Betrayed" can't get any more epic, it does, as Jonas Kjellgren steps in and unleashes a face-melting forty-five second guitar solo . It's such an enormous track to open the album that it almost threatens to overshadow the rest of it, and in truth the next song, while solid enough, does get left in its wake, but "Pride of Demise" and "Leave Nothing Alive" have their own memorable riffs and catchy groove that allow them to stand up. "The Great Waste of Flesh" then is another huge track that builds from silence to a crescendo of staccato riffing and a neat solo from Darren McLennan. "Scavengers" is a showcase for Talley's drumming as the band cranks up the speed again before shifting into a mid-paced chug for "Remnants". On "Dragged Beneath" Truth Corroded has an At the Gates moment as a violin saws out a melancholy theme while the band chops out death metal underneath. The album ends on the same scale with which it began, with the eight-minute thrash epic "Summon Abyss" pulling out all stops before fading out into the weird, manipulated strains of throat-singing once again.

Kjellgren and Talley certainly add a dose of magic to this album, but it's the experience and pure song-writing clout of Truth Corroded that makes Worship the Bled what it is, and that's one of the best local metal releases of this year. This is simply a great metal album that any band would be proud to call their own.
 
1. Knives of the Betrayed
2. Hunt All Heroes
3. Pride of Demise
4. Leave Nothing Alive
5. The Great Waste of Flesh
6. Scavengers
7. Remnants
8. Dragged Beneath
9. Tear Out the Eyes of Your God
10. Summon Abyss
 
Rating: 85%

IRON MAIDEN LIVE IN SYDNEY

Sydney Entertainment Centre
February 24, 2011

With approximately half the audience still filling local bars or crowding the merch stalls, Rise to Remain opened tonight’s show, the second of Iron Maiden’s warm-up performances ahead of their Soundwave Festival appearances. Looking every bit like his father’s son, Austin Dickinson led his young troupe through some energetic if fairly standard metalcore. As much as they’ve played the past two years, Rise to Remain still has some way to go to really develop their own identity and looked a little self-conscious on the vast Entertainment Centre stage playing to almost no one. Nevertheless, they fared much better than Maiden’s openers on the last Australian tour (Steve Harris’ daughter Lauren and the awful emo band Behind Crimson Eyes).


Midway through Iron Maiden’s set, Bruce Dickinson acknowledged that tonight’s audience – unlike the massive sell out tour two years ago – was mostly the band’s old faithful, the die-hards who didn’t come along just to hear the "hits". Which was just as well for them. Fully half the set was drawn from the band’s post-2000 comeback era, none of which had ever been played to an Australian audience before. But that didn’t seem to matter, and it was great to see that a good majority of the crowd were able to sing along with the five Final Frontier tracks that were aired, four of which made up the first five songs of the set. Of those, the opening salvo of "The Final Frontier" and "El Dorado" got the warmest response as Maiden burst onto the stage but when the introductory riffing of "2 Minutes to Midnight" was unleashed, a massive roar like 9000 people going "ROOOAARRRRR!!!" almost drowned out the band.

"The Talisman" seemed like an odd choice to follow that, but as perhaps one of their most technically demanding songs I could understand it being played so early. This one seemed to split the crowd a bit, but the band of course pulled it off. "Coming Home" was an early highlight, and "Dance of Death" is a much better song live. One of the biggest reactions, however, was reserved for "The Wicker Man", a clear sing- along favourite being played in Sydney for the first time with the crowd almost lifting the roof off and the band reponding by pulling out every stop.

Unlike the previous tour, Dickinson only got into costume once, for the always ball-tearing "The Trooper" during which he must have run at least a mile waving two Union Jacks. Yet again, as usual, he proved himself to be metal’s – indeed, one of the entire rock world’s – consummate frontman. He engaged everyone in the crowd, pointing out sections for special attention, offered his "Scream for me, Sydney!" rally cry several times (not as often as last time though, thankfully) and always has something poignant, interesting or funny to say. He made jokes about Shane Warne as he tossed a pink bra into the crowd from where it had (apparently) come. He talked about playing in Singapore and in Indonesia, in front of Islamic "metal brothers" who don’t care about race or religion when they’re rocking out to Maiden and in a gesture that caused one of the biggest cheers of the night, dedicated "Blood Brothers" to our cousins suffering from the earthquake disaster in New Zealand. And he never stopped moving. Nor did guitarist Janick Gers, whose crazy dance steps and rubbery contortionist moves when he slips into his own zone are as much of a spectacle as the singer’s exuberant athleticism.

For their part, the rest of the band were hardly boring to watch either, for without a lot of extravagant props and flashy stage effects, Iron Maiden relied on their music and natural showmanship to keep the crowd engaged as the back half of the show was filled out with more familiar songs like "Fear of the Dark" and "Iron Maiden" that was, of course, the cue for a giant red-eyed alien Eddie to prowl the stage and engage in a guitar duel with Dave Murray.

"The Number of the Beast", "Hallowed be Thy Name" and "Running Free" were reserved for the encore, the second of which not only got the greatest cheer of the night but left me both with no voice and a very clear understanding of why I and thousands of others love this band so much. Iron Maiden were truly outstanding tonight and if anyone went away disappointed that they didn’t play "Run to the Hills" then they should kill themselves.



The Final Frontier
El Dorado
2 Minutes to Midnight
The Talisman
Coming Home
Dance of Death
The Trooper
The Wicker Man
Blood Brothers
When the Wild Wind Blows
The Evil That Men Do
Fear of the Dark
Iron Maiden

--

The Number of the Beast
Hallowed be Thy Name
Running Free