Released: 2005
As soon as I saw this, I knew I had to listen to it. I thought I knew what I was going to be in for, but Absolute Steel exceeded my expectations with a level of cheese and hilarity that almost caused me to have several serious road accidents. Zimmer's Hole take note: this is how to make a parody album. Absolute Steel is a Norwegian five piece proudly living out an 80s Sunset Strip daydream of endless girls and partying. The end result of this fantasising is an album so ludicrous Steve Rachelle himself must be pulling his hair out that he didn't think of it first.
In a nutshell, Womanizer is a combination of the music of Turbo-era Judas Priest and the lyrics of a second-rate Poison clone. Considering how completely vacuous Poison could be a lot of the time, that's really saying something! Hilarious lyrics abound on this stunningly-contrived 80s metal pastiche, with "Deeper" perhaps taking the cake with this jaw-dropping couplet: "If you're looking for romance, I'm not your guy/Put down that joint girl, I'm a natural high!" And for sheer absurdity, nothing comes close to the acoustic ballad "Juicy Lucy", without doubt one of the most ridiculous songs of all time! "Beer Run" is the album's highlight, with its chorus of "We're out of beer (No!)/Let's do a beer run (Yeah!)/We've got to save the party". This track is so close to the heart of any real headbanger that none who hears it could possibly disagree. Absolute Steel really is playing it for laughs, and as mentioned there's plenty of them to be had. It works, because the music is great and the songs are so dumb you know they can't possibly be taking themselves seriously. Rounding off the album is a six-minute Steve Vai-style guitar shred instrumental that's so obviously over-indulgent you can almost see Yngwie cringing with embarrassment.
Womanizer is the ultimate party metal album. No piss-up should be without it.
- High Heels and Fishnet Stockings
- Beer Run
- Kick
- Rough Love (Tender Heart)
- Deeper
- Juicy Lucy
- Too Slow Above
- Deliverence
- Opus Suite
Rating: 87%
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