Saturday, December 27, 2008

THE BERZERKER: The Reawakening


Produced by The Berzerker
Released: 2008

I have a love/hate relationship with The Berzerker. On one level I think it's great that they have managed to achieve so much and helped further the cause of Aussie metal on a global scale, but at the same time their music hasn't done much for me. Originally I just wrote them off as little more than a gimmick act, but over the course of time they have developed into something more of a legitimate band with a more focused approach to songwriting. With their fifth album, The Berzerker has chosen to cut ties with their label and go down the fully independent path, a brave and risky venture but one which this band is well capable of travelling.

Luke Kenny puts everything into all this band does, so it's no surprise that even without label backing, The Reawakening comes in a digipak with a massive colour poster and six bonus remixes. Packaging and marketing has always been The Berzerker's strongpoint, but on The Reawakening this has been backed up by perhaps the best material they have yet created.

Now free of any constraints that a record label may have placed upon him, Kenny is once again able to explore the darker industrial aspects of The Berzerker's music and combine them far more effectively with the grinding, repetitive death metal side of the band. This has led to a return of that crazy and annoying high-speed popping noise that served as beats on Dissimulate and sounds more like a triggered lunchbox lid than any kind of real drumkit, but at least it only appears in short bursts and doesn't overwhelm everything. It's clear that The Berzerker has striven for a perfect balance, and the meshing of technology and mechanical sometimes works to create a cold, clinical atmosphere. The Reawakening isn't that far removed from The Amenta's n0n at times, but whereas that is endless droning soundscapes, this is hyperspeed blast and grind surrounding Kenny's monster-like vocals. "Spare Parts" is just about as fast as song can get and "Internal Examination" isn't much slower.

As usual, speed is at the very essence of everything The Berzerker does and so, also as usual, there isn't a great deal of variety between the tracks, but with a heavier emphasis on gabba beats and industrial noises that doesn't simply fall back on endless samples (one of the problems that hamstrung the first two albums) The Reawakening is the most cohesive and consistent album from this band yet.

  1. Wisdom and Corruption
  2. An Unforgotten Force
  3. Caught in the Crossfire
  4. The Deception
  5. Disassembly Line
  6. The Evolution of Aggression
  7. Your Final Seconds
  8. Harvesting a Loved One
  9. Internal Examination
  10. Spare Parts

Rating: 72%



Friday, December 26, 2008

HIATUS

Nope, not a review this time! The Sound Cellar is closed at the moment. What with a hospital visit, a whooping cough scare and the family Christmas juggernaut, I haven't had the energy or the inclination to review for the last week or so. I'd like to thank all the regular readers; I'll be back soon with more opinionated bullshit!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

VARIOUS ARTISTS: We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year


Produced by Bob Kulick and Brett Chassen
Released: 2008

So if you'd ever wondered what it would be like if a bunch of metal guys got together and recorded an album of Christmas songs, here's your answer. We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year is a compilation of seasonal classics given the once over by a group of rockers and metalheads including Lemmy, Dave Grohl, Alice Cooper and Ronnie James Dio, and members of Shadows Fall, Testament, Ratt and ZZ Top among others, and the results are a lot of fun.

Fun is the key here, so anyone wishing to venture further needs to leave their serious side at the door. These kinds of albums are only to be taken with a grain of salt, but let's face it, it is hard to go past a version of "Run Rudolph Run" done by Lemmy, Billy Gibbons and Dave Grohl. It's just really, really cool. Alice Cooper gets into the spirit of the project with his "Santa Claws is Coming to Town", whereupon the title character is then going to break everything and burn the place to the ground. And what could be more metal than a thrash version of "Silent Night" with Chuck Billy singing? Possibly only Dio and Iommi getting overly dramatic on "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". Doro Pesch and Michael Schenker team up for the traditional German carol "O Christmas Tree" and Stephen Pearcy, Tracii Guns, Bob Kulick, Billy Sheehan and Greg Bissonette offer a riotous "Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer".

Yep, the cheese is thicker here than on the average Domino's pizza, but this beats the hell out of having to listen to Mariah Carey on Christmas Day. And it's almost worth it just to hear Lemmy shout "Merry Christmas, motherfuckers!"

NOTE: There is a different version of this album that features only the first 11 tracks, with Mark Slaughter and Doug Aldrich on "We Wish You a Merry Xmas" instead of Soto and the Kulicks. Apparently the version I have has been pulled, but I can't find anything that tells me why. Most likely licensing issues are to blame, but I can't say for sure. Oh well. This is the one I have, so this is the one I'll review.

  1. We Wish You a Merry Xmas: Jeff Scot Soto, Bruce & Bob Kulick, Chris Wyse, Ray Luzier
  2. Run Rudolph Run: Lemmy, Billy Gibbons, Dave Grohl
  3. Santa Claws is Coming to Town: Alice Cooper, John 5, Billy Sheehan, Vinny Appice
  4. God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen: Ronnie James Dio, Tony Iommi, Rudy Sarzo, Simon Wright
  5. Silver Bells: Geoff Tate, Carlos Cavazo, James Lomenzo, Ray Luzier
  6. Little Drummer Boy: Dug Pinnick, George Lynch, Billy Sheehan, Simon Phillips
  7. Santa Claus is Back in Town: Ripper Owens, Steve Morse, Juan Garcia, Marco Mendoza, Vinny Appice
  8. Silent Night: Chuck Billy, Scott Ian, Jon Donais, Chris Wyse, John Tempesta
  9. Deck the Halls: Oni Logan, Craig Goldy, Tony Franklin, John Tempesta
  10. Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer: Stephen Pearcy, Tracii Guns, Bob Kulick, Billy Sheehan, Greg Bissonette
  11. Rockin' Around the Xmas Tree: Joe Lynn Turner, Bruce & Bob Kulick, Rudy Sarzo, Simon Wright
  12. Happy Xmas (War is Over): Tommy Shaw, Steve Lukather, Marco Mendoza, Kenny Aronoff
  13. O Christmas Tree: Doro Pesch, Michael Schenker, Tony Franklin, Frankie Banali
  14. Auld Lang Syne: Girlschool

Rating: 76%

Thursday, December 18, 2008

LED ZEPPELIN: Untitled


Produced by Jimmy Page

Released: 1971

There was plenty of good stuff on the first three Led Zeppelin albums, but the fourth is where all the elements of their sound finally coalesed properly. Unadorned, with a non-descript cover, no title and not even a track listing, this album was intended to be judged purely on its contents alone. After only their second full year as a band, no other group in history would have had the temerity to attempt such an unconventional experiment, but Led Zeppelin were already massive superstars by the time of this release, so anything with their name on it was going to be pre-judged even before it had been heard.

Dominated by the epic masterpiece of "Stairway to Heaven", this album was the culmination of all the band's eclectic aspirations, leanings and inspirations from bombastic heavy rock to psychedelic stomps, folk rock to enormous blues work-outs. No matter what the guise, Led Zeppelin managed to wear it with consummate ease here, as they would for the rest of their career. It was the perfect amalgam of excess and subtlety that set them apart from every other band of their era, and most others to follow.

With its curious "backwards" riff, "Black Dog" got things underway, showing Led Zeppelin at their most primal: Robert Plant's remarkable shriek, Jimmy Page's urgent guitar splats and John Bonham's huge, booming drums. Bonham's immense sound is an integral part of what made this band so special, and here they were recorded with him playing at the bottom of a stairwell and the mikes at the top for maximum echo and reverb. On top of that, on "Four Sticks" he plays with two sticks in each hand! There's more than one reason why Bonzo is still revered as a drum monster, and many of them are on display on this album.

This also marked the full flowering of Plant's lyrical mysticism, marrying mythological elements with Tolkienesque themes and characters in the mandolin-driven folk tune "The Battle of Evermore". Also featuring his vocals intertwining with those of Fairport Convention's Sandy Denny, this is a rare moment of rock magic that is another gem in the crown of an album already spilling over with them.

The centrepiece of course is "Stairway to Heaven", a classic so insurmountable that it lingers to this day as one of the greatest rock songs of all. There's no need for an elaborate description; this song is a microcosm of everything Led Zeppelin was about, and this album is sheer genius from beginning to end.



  1. Black Dog
  2. Rock and Roll
  3. The Battle of Evermore
  4. Stairway to Heaven
  5. Misty Mountain Hop
  6. Four Sticks
  7. Going to California
  8. When the Levee Breaks
Rating: 100%

Friday, December 12, 2008

IN THIS MOMENT: The Dream


Produced by Kevin Churko

Released: 2008

Much lauded at the time of its release for being a breath of fresh air on the scene, In This Moment’s debut Beautiful Tragedy was in reality nothing more than a totally generic metalcore album with only Maria Brink’s vocals to distinguish it from every other band of that ilk. As such, I was hardly looking forward to what The Dream might be like. Yet in this, I was remarkably surprised. For their second album, In This Moment has stripped away virtually all of the “core” and almost all of the metal and headed in a melodic rock direction. A lot of bands that try this should be taken away and shot, but for ITM it was precisely the right thing to do.

The Dream is a collection of songs that marry substance and style, as opposed to the debut where trying to be hardcore was everything. Brink is still the very heart and soul of this group (and with those eyes and those tatts, why shouldn’t she be?!), but their new musical approach lets the band shine a bit too. Only “The Great Divide” recalls the metalcore of Beautiful Tragedy, yet also manages to surpass it on every level. It’s much the same story for the album as a whole as In This Moment seeks to broaden their appeal beyond the angst-ridden wallet-chain brigade with a tighter grasp of melody, keener songwriting and a more original outlook.

Producer Kevin Churko had a hand in the music, but despite this The Dream is a clearer indication of where In This Moment wants to be as a band than Beautiful Tragedy was, one actually eager to stand out from the crowd rather than running with it. The elaborate packaging suggests a song-cycle based on some Lewis Carroll-style fantasy world but this seems more a reflection of the album’s title than any of its actual songs except perhaps the last two, for otherwise Brink sings of love, loss and hope. Apart from the maudlin “Into the Light” that sounds like Evanescence at their most irritating, this is an album of good solid modern hard rock. “Her Kiss” has a darkly Gothic feel, “The Great Divide” is the metal track and both “All for You” and “Lost at Sea” are excellent songs.

Until now, In This Moment was just another band, but The Dream shows they really could be something a little bit more.


  1. The Rabbit Hole
  2. Forever
  3. All For You
  4. Lost at Sea
  5. Mechanical Love
  6. Her Kiss
  7. Into the Light
  8. You Always Believed
  9. The Great Divide
  10. Velvet Skies
  11. The Dream

Rating: 85%

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

SECRET SPHERE: Sweet Blood Theory


Released: 2008

Before you even get to indulge in the sheer excess of Italian symphonic power metal that is Secret Sphere’s latest album, you get to revel in the sheer vileness of its cover. Two average-looking girls dressed up like skanks and posed in front of a background of lurid greens that looked to me like it was a leftover from MediEvil (after this initial impression, I actually took a closer look at the sign over the uglier chick’s head and it does indeed have Sir Fortesque on it!). I’ve seen some dodgy-looking power metal album covers (like the one from Highland Glory with a dude in a kilt standing on a mountain-top, holding a baby over his head), but this one is possibly the worst. As horrible as it is, it was compelling enough for me to listen to the music to see how bad that would be, and it’s surprisingly OK.

This could be because I’m warming to power metal, but it’s more likely that Secret Sphere are just rather good at it. While it’s true that their sound is completely homogenised and follows the same Helloween-worshipping template of thousands of others, these guys simply do it with considerably more spirit than those busloads of soulless copyists. The melodies are prominent, but not so saccharine that they leave an aftertaste and the symphonic sections sound like there was some thought put into them. The songs are long enough that they can only fit eleven of them into the 51-minute playing time but not so long or elaborate that you find yourself wishing they’d hurry up and get to the point. “Feed My Fire” is a good pop-laced hard rocker that would make be a surefire metal club hit and the power ballad “The Butterfly Dance” was not quite as awful as I expected it to be.

Sweet Blood Theory isn’t a bad album as these things go. Fans of the style will like it, non-fans won’t be converted, and everyone can go away happy. Except the graphic designer. He deserves to be shot.


  1. Evil or Divine
  2. Stranger in Black
  3. From a Dream to a Nightmare
  4. Bring On
  5. The Shadow of the Room of Pleasure
  6. Welcome to the Circus
  7. The Butterfly Dance
  8. Sweet Blood Theory
  9. Feed My Fire
  10. All These Words
  11. Vampire's Kiss

Rating: 65%

Monday, December 8, 2008

THE AMENTA: N0N


Produced by The Amenta

Released: October 20, 2008

The Amenta's second album is perhaps best summed up by their own press: "N0N is the fusion of white noise, shards of dissonant guitars and dense layers of radio chatter." That is indeed a pretty apt description of what is essentially a very discordant and confronting release. Imagine if Devin Townsend turned evil and kidnapped Ogre from Skinny Puppy and Justin Broadrick from Godflesh and made them work on his diabolical scheme to destroy music. N0N sounds something like that.

Stylistically aligned to the likes of Akercocke, Axis of Perdition, Zyklon and soon-to-be-touring-buddies The Berzerker, The Amenta mixes extreme metal elements like grinding, repetitive guitars and unhallowed vocal shrieks with ambience, white noise and industrial sounds to create something that, while not being quite as original as it's made out to be (see Godflesh and Skinny Puppy references above) is nevertheless far different from virtually everything masquerading as "extreme metal" at present.

N0N is a challenging listen, and I dare anyone to grasp it all the first time they hear it. It isn't catchy, except in rare moments like "Dirt" where an odd dub-style melody line appears. It's coarse and abrasive, with noise and chattering mercilessly overdubbed and multi-tracked as if the guitar parts were being recorded live at a busy railway station. The riffs are slab-like and repetitive, grinding and in some places almost a drone, a lot of the time virtually secondary to the beats and effects. There is a bunch of guests on here, including Alex Pope from Ruins and Jason Medonca from Akercocke, along with a total of two drummers (although with Dave Haley as one of them, one wonders why two would be necessary), two bassists -- neither of whom are particularly prominent -- and apparently six vocalists but in this deliberately faceless band no contribution is distinguishable from any other. It's only because The Amenta is at pains to point out that so many people worked on this that you even know this.

This is an almost impenetrably extreme volume of experimental noise meshed with metal that certainly won't appeal to everyone but those looking to explore the fringes of listenable art will find this truly compelling stuff.

  1. On
  2. Junky
  3. Vermin
  4. Entropy
  5. Slave
  6. Whore
  7. Spine
  8. Skin
  9. Dirt
  10. Atrophy
  11. Cancer
  12. Rape

Rating: 86%

Saturday, December 6, 2008

ARCH ENEMY: Tyrants of the Rising Sun - Live in Japan


Directed by Paul B. Smith
Released: November 2008
I really like Arch Enemy. For mine they're one of the best metal bands to have emerged in the last fifteen years. Obviously their success has brought them their fair share of knockers, who like to point out that they can be inconsistent, a little repetitive on occasion and have made a least one rather patchy album, but the same thing can be said for Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and almost anyone else. Angela Gossow usually cops the lion's share of hate for this group, but really most of that is from people who -- despite what they might tell you -- prefer their metal chicks as keyboard players or sopranos in Goth bands. Arch Enemy is a kick ass band, and Tyrants of the Rising Sun shows them doing what they do best: tearing a bunch of Japanese people some new arseholes as they rip through almost two hours of fearsome metal.

Filmed in High Definition with audio in both digital 5.1 and 2.0 and mixed by the inimitable Andy Sneap, this is a veritable feast of modern metal mayhem from start to finish. Featuring songs from their entire career and from every album (except Stigmata), one could hardly ask for a better set. Japan is like a second home for this band and perhaps because of this they pull out all stops, with a virtually flawless show. Gossow sounds awesome and the Amott brothers guitar team is simply breathtaking. Both Christopher and Michael get solo spots, but Daniel Erlandsson's drum solo is actually one of the clear highlights, though perhaps that could be because he ends with a segue into the beginning of Rainbow's "Stargazer" before the band then takes a right turn into "Burning Angel" to kick off the second half of the set.

Japanese crowds can be notoriously polite and low-key, but for Arch Enemy they go totally insane: circle moshes, barrier-surging and singing along with not only the lyrics but the melody lines. Seriously, in "Nemesis" the crowd is almost louder than the band. This helps to make Tyrants of the Rising Sun one of the very best live performance DVDs I've watched in a long, long time. This has excellent sound and perfectly directed visuals, with quite an interesting tour doco as an added bonus and a couple of promo clips (including two versions of "Revolution Begins" which doesn't actually feature in the set), making an all-round killer package no metal fan should be without.
  1. Intro/Blood On Your Hands
  2. Ravenous
  3. Taking Back My Soul
  4. Dead Eyes See No Future
  5. Dark Insanity
  6. The Day You Died
  7. Christopher Solo
  8. Silverwing
  9. Night Falls Fast
  10. Daniel Solo
  11. Burning Angel
  12. Michael Solo (including Intermezzo Liberte)
  13. Dead Bury Their Dead
  14. Vultures
  15. Enemy Within
  16. Snowbound
  17. Shadows and Dust
  18. Nemesis
  19. We Will Rise
  20. Fields of Desolation/Outro

Extras:

  1. The Road to Japan
  2. Revolution Begins (original)
  3. Revolution Begins (live version)
  4. I Will Live Again (promo)

Rating: 95%

Thursday, December 4, 2008

LACUNA COIL: Visual Karma (Body, Mind and Soul)


Released: November 2008

I have been a Lacuna Coil fan for a decade, which is probably about twice as long as many of the people who appear on and contribute to this massive DVD release. Originally announced over a year ago with the band asking for video clips and tributes from fans on their own YouTube channel, this is an immaculately produced double volume that shows the public and intimate sides of what is now arguably the world's biggest Goth metal band.

The first disc showcases the band in the live arena. Specifically, their entire set from Wacken 2007 and half a set from Japan's LoudPark festival. While it's true that about 80% of their songs sound pretty much alike, both performances show Lacuna Coil to be an engaging and remarkably heavy live band. Cristina Scabbia may be perfectly happy to share the spotlight both with Andrea Ferro and other members of the band, but the truth is that she is completely mesmerising and impossible to look away from to the point where you just want Ferro to disappear every time he's on screen and the other guys might just as well be standing behind screens or playing their instruments remotely from space. The sound of both shows is less than perfect, with lots of wowing and clipping during the latter half of the Wacken set, although Scabbia's vocals at least sound overdubbed here and there. The LoudPark show is rawer in quality and I actually enjoyed it more, even though Scabbia's sexy little dance during the intro of "Enjoy the Silence" at the Wacken show was the highlight of the whole disc.

Consisting of band member profiles, tour diaries and fan-made tributes, disc two is for the truly dedicated Lacuna Coil nut. The first part is comprised of six home movies from each of the members, of varying quality. Ferro's personal tour of Milan is poorly produced and just not very interesting. Bass player Marco Coti Zelati's self-portrait of himself getting hammered is somewhat amusing, but Marco Biazza's romance with his own guitar is just bizarre. Once again Scabbia proves why she is the real star of this band, with a genuinely warm piece about a benefit she organised that funded a new well in a Kenyan village. Most of the rest of the disc is prime filler material, unless you happened to be one of the ten people who's video clips made the cut and are included or you were interested enough in watching the winning entries. Personally, I wasn't so I didn't even bother with most of it. Anything with Cristina being totally candid is a joy to watch, and not just because she's gorgeous. The woman is a true star.

Visual Karma is a bit of an epic, especially if you try to watch the whole thing all at once. The live footage and Karma Code clips would be more than enough for the average fan; the rest of it is really for Coilophiles only.


DVD 1:


Wacken 2007

1. Intro
2. To The Edge
3. Fragments Of Faith
4. Swamped
5. In Visible Light
6. Fragile
7. Closer
8. Senzafine
9. What I See
10. Enjoy The Silence
11. Heavens A Lie
12. Our Truth

Loudpark 2007:
1. Intro/To The Edge
2. Swamped
3. Closer
4. Within Me
5. Daylight Dancer
6. Our Truth

Videos:
1. Our Truth
2. Closer
3. Enjoy the Silence
4. Within Me

DVD 2

1. Simple As Water (Cristina)
2. Inside Milan (Andrea)
3. The Leaning Journey Of Pizza (Marco B)
4. 7-Seven... Strings Life (Maus)
5. The Real Thing (Marco C Z)
6. Enter The Drummer (Christiano)

Behind The Scenes:
Australian Tour 2007
First Time In Japan
Making Of The Our Truth Video
Making Of The Closer Video

Fan Submissions:
Lacuna Coil's introductory clip
Empty Spiral Interview
To The Edge Remix Contest
Inside The Spiral
Links

Rating: 75%

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

WARMEN: Beyond Abilities


Produced by Janne Wirman
Released: 2002

Janne Wirman is the guy who brings the 70s over-the-top keys wizardry of Jon Lord and Don Airey back to metal with Children of Bodom and on Beyond Abilities he stepped out on his own again with his Warmen project. Like the first album, this Warmen excursion is grounded in a traditional metal style with virtually unrestrained virtuoso playing from Wirman and his guitarists, brother Antii and Sami Virtanen, trading licks and bouncing extended solo breaks off one another in an audacious display of musical proficiency.

Whereas Unknown Soldier was almost exclusively an instrumental set, however, Beyond Abilities features vocal tracks on five of its eleven cuts. Somewhat appropriately, Timo Kotipelto from Stratovarius appears on two of them, both of which could quite easily have come from one of his band’s more recent (and by that we mean less than brilliant) albums. Sinergy’s Kimberly Goss makes a reappearance here too, vocalising the hard rock styled ‘Hidden’ that contains what is almost Night Ranger’s riff from ‘This Boy Needs to Rock’, as well as the cover of Heart’s ‘Alone’, which seems downright incongruous here but does highlight her range if nothing else.

‘Dawn’ with Pasi Nykanen at the microphone is almost the perfect progressive metal track however with quite a wide musical scope being compressed into a single unit and perhaps marks the high point of the album with the exception of ‘Salieri Strikes Back’ and ‘Finale’ both of which basically dwarf everything else on the set with their sheer awe-inspiring ingenuity.

Despite Beyond Abilities being a rather inconsistent album, a slow beginning with a strong second half broken up by something inexplicable (‘Alone’! Why?), it is still a worthwhile listen for those who like to indulge in overindulgence.


  1. Beyond Abilities
  2. Spark
  3. Hidden
  4. Trip to...
  5. Dawn
  6. Singer's Chance
  7. Alone
  8. Confessions
  9. Salieri Strikes Back
  10. War of Worlds
  11. Finale

Rating: 78%

Sunday, November 30, 2008

NICKLEBACK: Dark Horse


Produced by Mutt Lange, Nickelback and Joey Moi

Released: 15 November

Here's something I thought I'd never be doing: reviewing a Nickelback album! Obviously someone at the radio station I work at has once again confused what I play on my show with what these Canadian sleazeballs play because a brand new copy of Dark Horse somehow found its way into my pigeonhole there (Update Jan. 19/09: They've since given me another copy that is also going to end up on eBay). It's been a long while since I've met anyone who's actually enough of a fan of this band to even be interested in an entire album of their songs, but somebody must be because here they are with album number six, debuting at #3 on the Australian charts.

Nickleback albums are all pretty much cut to the same template, a mixture of pantie-wetting power ballads and bland, chugging radio-friendly hard rock. Dark Horse isn't anything all that different, although it does benefit from the guiding hand of Mutt Lange, who's steered a course that's midway between Back in Black and Waking Up the Neighbours. The rocking songs are fuller and heavier and the softer ones have a splash of colour, probably providing Nickelback with the sound to which they've always aspired.

Dark Horse's blend of rock and sop as an opening pair of arse-kicking rockers about sex and booze give way to a string of teary-eyed ballads are one thing to hate Nickelback for, but their crimes go further than just this. As expected, Lange contributes to the songwriting as well, and while this hasn't resulted in much variation to the standard formula, it may have in fact increased the level of Chad Kroeger's veiled misogyny and rampant sexism. These are aspects he tries to disguise in his housewife-friendly crooners like "I'd Come For You" and "Gotta be Somebody", but the disguise isn't all that clever because Nickelback (or, more correctly, Kroeger) simply blow their own cover with a string of tunes portraying women as little more than sluts, parading around in g-strings and getting drilled deliriously with their heels still on.

Leaving nothing to the imagination, "Something in Your Mouth" displays a sexism that owes more to Ice T than Nikki Sixx or Bon Scott ("It's so much cooler when you never pull it out/You're so much cuter/With something in your mouth"); similarly "Next Go Round" and "S.E.X." share the same bald-faced classlessness, beefy guitars and driving riffs but a lyrical crassness that other bands at this level would find downright embarrassing.

With Dark Horse, Nickelback is still cluelessy scrabbling around for the same formula that made Bon Jovi, Def Leppard and Van Halen popular with both girls and guys, but even with the help of one of the world's best producers they still can't find it. I'm not sure what the "dark horse" of the title is all about either, because there's nothing unexpected about this album whatsoever.


  1. Something in Your Mouth
  2. Burn it to the Ground
  3. Gotta Be Somebody
  4. I'd Come for You
  5. Next Go Round
  6. Just to Get High
  7. Never Gonna be Alone
  8. Shakin' Hands
  9. S.E.X.
  10. If Today Was Your Last Day
  11. This Afternoon

Rating: 40%

Friday, November 28, 2008

LEVIATHAN: Tentacles of Whorror



Produced by Wrest

Released: 2004

I never really know what to expect from US label Moribund Records because they don’t exactly deal in the sort of metal that I typically enjoy and yet the stuff they do release can be either so compellingly awful or inherently different and bizarre that it can’t really be ignored. Out of this Pandora's box of musical strangeness is Leviathan, a one-man USBM unit inspired by early Burzum, but one who uses that inspiration to create music of an incredibly twisted and perverse nature that stands alone.

Rather like its cover art, Tentacles of Whorror is a truly demented release, as if it came from the bowels of Hell itself. At times the clean guitars are deliberately off-key and often don’t appear to even be in tune, then all of a sudden an enormous blastbeat section comes up and swallows everything only to give way to a painfully slow, dirge-like funereal passage. Depressing ambient sections are juxtaposed with crushing riffs and hair-raising vocal shrieks. It certainly isn’t something to be listened to for the purposes of enjoyment, rather an album that mesmerises with its truly disturbing nature. At a whopping 72 minutes in length and with some songs like the title track and the deeply troubling "A History of Rape" running over eight minutes, Tentacles of Whorror is also an overwhelmingly epic release.

Absolutely not for everybody, Tentacles of Whorror really is for the most extreme tastes only!

  1. What Fresh Hell
  2. Heir to the Noose of Ghoul
  3. Cut With the Night Into Mine Heart
  4. A Bouquet of Blood for Skull
  5. Deciphering Legend Within the Serpent's Briar
  6. A Necessary Mutilation
  7. Vexed and Vomit Hexed
  8. Tentacles of Whorror (Revel the Tyrant)
  9. Requiem for a Turd World
  10. Blood Red and True: Pt 3 (Plummeting Obscure)
  11. Mouth Orifice Bizarre
  12. The History of Rape

Rating: 73%


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Australian Idol: Grand Final

Well it's all over now and unless you've been locked away in an iron safe under the sea, you'd know by now that Wes Carr was proclaimed Australian Idol for 2008. That means for possibly the first time ever, the right person actually won the competition. While that may be arguable, what isn't is that next year's series has a lot to live up to. Apart from Johnny Darko, Sparkle Eyes and Tom the Kid, almost any of the other contestants could have won any of the previous series; certainly they were all better than Kate DeAraugo. So next year's auditions should be tougher than ever. It either that or can the whole thing.

But I can't see that happening.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

ELYSIUM: Dreamscapes


Released: 2001

Like far too many Aussie releases that come my way, this album was well overdue when it fell into my hands: recorded in 1998, it wasn't released for three years. It's so often the curse of the underground, self-funded recording. Labels can fold, key members can split, or there's simply no bucks around or no one willing to take it up. Elysium had been around forever when this finally surfaced and their past was somewhat chequered, but the hurdles keeping this on the shelf for so long were finally swept away one day, allowing Dreamscapes to unfold its visions of darkness and melancholy at last.

With a mere seven tracks sprawling across almost an hour, expect nothing less from this Sydney band than slow and epic doom of massive proportions! The enormous "Darkwoods and Willows Wild" stumbles into the picture with its grandiose style and ponderous pace, epitomising Elysium's chosen Muse from the very start: a surging, recurring keyboard theme, the slow crash of guitars and drums, Jamie Marsh's cold and grim vocals and the delicate contrast of Avrigus singer Judy Chiara's soaring operatics. Elysium are not merely content with plodding their way through their album endlessly repeating the same formula, however. Long, meandering and slow though it is, Dreamscapes is by no means a turgid experience. Each of the seven tracks here are injected with their own individuality, expansive and almost orchestral in their structure. At times almost painfully slow, Elysium step up occasionally to a menacing mid-pace, and mix in dark, spoken passages and multi-layered clean guitar sections where even the bass, usually the most inconspicuous of instruments, is clearly defined and Chiara's peerless vocals are a stunning contrast to Marsh's evocative, chameleon-like vocals.

Dreamscapes is a huge and infinitely majestic album that is unfortunately impossible to find now, but if a copy does come your way somehow, you shouldn't let it get away.


  1. Dark Woods and Willows Wild
  2. Graven Bay
  3. Elysium (Gallery of the Fallen)
  4. These Bleak Enshrined Emotions
  5. Remorse at Dusk
  6. Leafy Tendrils (Pt. 1)
  7. Millenia Gone

Rating: 89%

Friday, November 21, 2008

NAZXUL: Black Seed


Produced by Nazxul

Released: 1998

Early yesterday morning, Sydney metal scene veteran Greg Morelli died when his motorbike hit a flooded section of Parramatta Road. He was killed before he could see the release of his band's long-anticipated second full length album, an album I once talked to him about while sitting in a shelter next to a crypt in the middle of Waverley Cemetery. At night. This EP was already a legendary piece of plastic by then and had already been re-released once, only a few months earlier. To this day, "Black Seed" remains one of the most extreme and intense black metal recordings of all.

A chanting choir marks the beginning of this journey of unholy savagery. "Vow of Vengeance" is a truly epic masterpiece built on a relentlessly repetitive, glacially-paced and monstrously crushing riff, enhanced by a surging keyboard-driven melody that provides an icy atmosphere throughout. Morte's vocals are tortured shrieks that are in the fore of the mix, a rare thing for BM from the time, with the choir continuing in the background for the duration of the track, adding a deeper mystical and symphonic element.

The grandly atmospheric tone of the first song is sharply contrasted immediately by "Black Seed Sown", a six-minute wall-of-sound barrage of fiendishly fast guitar riffs and ceaseless blast beats. Yet again, both the keys and the vocals shine through, for Nazxul was a band that understood that black metal could indeed be just as effective with excellent production. Perhaps even more so. On the Emperor-like "Apostasies Legions Arise, XUL!" the band's occult influences are in full flower, with the atmospheric breaks even more powerful here than in the previous track.

"Under the Sign of Life's Living End" is the monolithic, apocalyptic closer to the original version of this EP. This is like a paen to the early black metal movement with insane guitar melodies, eerie keyboards and vocals like the howling Furies. A shorter version of this was included on an independent label sampler, but on "Black Seed" the listener is treated to the full version, concluded by a darkly disturbing instrumental coda that showed Nazxul's bleaker, more ambient side.

This EP was a true representation of how powerful black metal could be, and how it could be done without compromising quality sound. Some versions of this feature live tracks and demo songs too, depending on the pressing, but no matter which one you find, rest assured this is an essential addition to any serious metal collection.


  1. Vow of Vengeance
  2. Black Seed Sown
  3. Apostasies Legions Arise, XUL!
  4. Under the Sign of Life's Living End

Rating: 98%

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Australian Idol: Final Semi Final

Well the journey is almost over for the finalists now. I officially stopped caring after the Invisible Bulletproof Man got the chop last week, because a win by any of the three blokes who were left would please me. Those three blokes comprise two guys who were already serious musicians with small-time careers behind them and a complete newcomer with uncanny natural ability and charisma. As I said on the very first of this series of entries, I've always been a fan of this show but this year has been the most enjoyable and appears to have really unearthed some people who truly deserved to be unearthed. Plus, as much as I have a love/hate relationship with Kyle Sandilands, he's infinitely more tolerable than Mark Holden. Indeed, if Sandilands was more like he is on this show more often, and less like the objectionable, opinionated idiot he is everywhere else he sticks his boof head, I would possibly appreciate him more. That won't make me begin listening to 2DAY FM, though.

So anyhow, after last night's reveal, Mark Spano was eliminated, leaving only the favourite and the dark horse in the race. It also means we didn't get to hear Spano's potential single, which is a shame because it had to be better than the one they've given to Luke. I like Luke and his version of "Stuck in the Middle With You" was cool; even if he comes second next week I can see him becoming a nuggety, blues-rock version of Shannon Noll. ie. Someone that blokes won't be embarrassed about admitting they like. But the song they've given him as his first single should he pull off the win doesn't actually suit him that well, because even though he sang it all right, to me it seems like something for someone with a sweeter range. Perhaps it was originally written for Teale, because it sounds more like a song he would have done.

That's assuming, of course, that these songs really were knocked together specifically for these guys; professional songwriters pump out hits over their morning coffee though, so it's quite possible. At least they're not offering up third-hand Diane Warren rubbish like they did with Casey Donovan.

By contrast, Wes Carr's song was perfect for him, though to be honest he could make almost anything his own. I kept thinking it had a very Stevie Wright vibe about it that perhaps was brought about by the vocal style, the 70s rock riff and the harmonica. The way he tore through "Get Back" the night before also marked him, if nothing else has, as the clear champion. Even if Luke pips him next week, which is highly likely given the shearer's immense popularity, we're going to be hearing a lot more from Wes Carr than we did when he was in Tambarlane (a band name that rings bells with me even though it came and went long after my four-nights-a-week gig-pig days were over).

Monday, November 17, 2008

ROB ROCK: Garden of Chaos


Produced by Carl-Johan Grimmark
Released: September 2007

It's hard to believe I almost let this one slip under my radar, because Garden of Chaos is one of the most arse-kicking albums of pure metal to have been blessed my ears so far this year.

Not to be confused with the similarly-named producer behind the mess that was St Anger, Rob Rock is a singer with molten metal pumping through his veins. There is probably few guys as consistent in music than this guy; virtually everything this man lends his voice to is pure quality. From his string of albums with Chris Impelliteri and contributions with Driver, M.A.R.S., Warrior and others to his batch of solo albums, Rock nary puts a foot wrong. So it continues with his latest effort.

Garden of Chaos is just one pure metal track after the next, with no thought of pandering to any trends, taking divergent pathways through orchestral excesses or weird excursions into bland melodic rock in hopeless bids for airplay. With nothing but heavy metal power, Rock just blazes through 11 tracks of absolute ownage, helped out by the ridiculous talents of Roy Z, Bobby Jarzombek and Gus G among others. That the production credits are in the hands of Carl-Johan Grimmark is an amusing irony, because this is the sort of album that his band Narnia could only aspire to in their dreams: heavy, catchy, fast and rocking without the flouncy pretentious bits and lame power metal bullshit.

Picking a highlight on here is virtually a moot point because every song is a ripper, and even the ballad dedicated to his infant son actually sounds heartfelt. Rock's a practising Christian so as usual you can expect to find a lot of Biblical references and in some respects Garden of Chaos is a semi-conceptual exploration of the nature of sin, but unlike many of his contemporaries Rock uses his songs to explore Christian theme rather than just hitting people over the head with preachy dogma so that even people without a shred of religiosity within can just lose themselves in the music and headbang into a frenzy.

Another killer album from one of the best metal artists in circulation.

  1. Garden of Chaos
  2. Satan's Playground
  3. Savior's Call
  4. This Time is the Last Time
  5. Only a Matter of Time
  6. Spirit in the Sky
  7. Metal Breed
  8. Millenial Reign
  9. Unconditional
  10. Ride the Wind
  11. Ode to Alexander

Rating: 95%

Thursday, November 13, 2008

AC/DC: Black Ice


Produced by Brendan O'Brien

Released: 2008

In the eight years since the last AC/DC album, the music industry has moved on. Typically, AC/DC has not. Black Ice is as identifiably AC/DC as anything they've done before. Not as high energy perhaps, but with a 61-year old lead singer that probably isn't surprising. The first noticable aspect is that this is an AC/DC album with packaging: there's versions that come in tins and with special full colour-booklets. Even the standard version is a digipak. The last time Akkadakka made any concessions as to how their album was packaged was probably back when For Those About to Rock... came with a gatefold sleeve, but as this group is one of the few remaining major acts that still doesn't allow digital downloads it's obvious they needed to make this CD as alluring as possible. I doubt it would have mattered, as this album sold 1.7 million copies in a week and topped the charts in 29 countries, including Australia where, amazingly, they have only achieved the milestone thrice before. And as with almost everything they've released since 1981, it's unlikely that anyone will still be listening to Black Ice all that much in a year from now.

Clocking in at almost an hour and featuring no less than fifteen songs, Black Ice is a true epic by AC/DC standards and while it is arguably the best album they've made since The Razors Edge it would have been better had they pared it by at least fifteen minutes. "Spoilin' for a Fight", "Wheels", "Smash N Grab" and "Money Made" are simply nothing songs: go nowhere, add nothing, say nothing. Conversely, "Rock N' Roll Train" is one of the best things they've done in a very long time, "Big Jack" has some long-lost swagger to it and "She Likes Rock N Roll" features an unusually funky bass line from Cliff Williams, normally one of the invisible men of rock. "War Machine" also has him laying down a throbbing intro that recalls "Live Wire", although the rest of the song hardly compares.

Far more successfully than Rick Rubin was able, it appears Brendan O'Brien has convinced AC/DC to actually add a trace of colour to their predictable style. For the first time ever, Brian Johnson uses his natural singing voice on "Decibel" instead of his usual tortured shriek and "Stormy May Day" features some truly sloppy slide guitar, two noteworthy moments that add a bit of character to this otherwise by-the-numbers album. The production is otherwise pretty bland. The guitars are suitably loud but not especially gutsy and for a good two-thirds of the album the band just slots into a comfortable bluesy groove. They close out in a rocking fashion with "Rocking All the Way" and the title track, but apart from those couple of interesting touches already mentioned, the middle of Black Ice is little more than a void. There just isn't any of the energy that you'd expect from a band called AC/DC, really and everything between "Anything Goes" and "Rock N Roll Dream" (except "She Likes Rock N Roll", which is really quite good) could have been chopped without anyone noticing.

In just three weeks this has shifted 5 million units around the world so it probably really doesn't matter what I or any other reviewer says about Black Ice. It's AC/DC. You know what to expect.

  1. Rock N Roll Train
  2. Skies on Fire
  3. Big Jack
  4. Anything Goes
  5. War Machine
  6. Smash N Grab
  7. Spoilin' for a Fight
  8. Wheels
  9. Decibel
  10. Stormy May Day
  11. She Likes Rock N Roll
  12. Money Made
  13. Rock n Roll Dream
  14. Rocking All the Way
  15. Black Ice

Rating: 65%

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

ICED EARTH: The Glorious Burden


Produced by Jim Morris and Jon Schaffer

Released: 2004

A friend of mine told me they were disappointed with this album, and being the die-hard Iced Earth fan they are, I can understand why. The Glorious Burden was built up to be a complete triumph, introducing a new singer and a new beginning, utilising orchestral arrangements and featuring an epic track the reflects band leader Jon Schaffer's passion for American history. Of couse, Schaffer builds up all Iced Earth albums as being the greatest recordings ever, so that's nothing unusual. Unfortunately this album doesn't even come close to being Iced Earth's best, never mind the world-changing masterpiece it was claimed to be. Most of the tracks aren’t up to the standard that Schaffer has set for himself over the years and most of the lyrics are worse than some of the worst stuff Steve Harris comes up with from time to time.

The enormous three-part US Civil War epic “Gettysburg (1863)” is the real reason to get hold of The Glorious Burden, where the band is joined by an orchestra that really helps to set the mood for a musical saga that stands so far above the rest of the album it could well have been released on its own without all the filler like the horrible “When the Eagle Cries”, perhaps one of the worst songs in the history of American metal. “Hollow Man” is merely a reworking of previous Iced Earth ballads like “Melancholy”, with different lyrics, but the likes of “Attila” and “Red Baron/Blue Max” do stand out nicely despite that typical repetitive three-part riff that Schaffer has used on every song he’s ever written.

Ex-Judas Priest vocalist Tim Owens does a fantastic job with the material he’s been given, but as gifted a singer as he is, even he has trouble making something like “There were 45,000 wounded or dead when the fight was finally through/On a three-mile square battlefield near a town named Waterloo” sound like lyrics instead of a paragraph from a modern history textbook. Far too often also, The Glorious Burden wavers perilously close to German power metal territory, with Blind Guardian-style multiple vocal harmonies in the choruses as well as being less heavier overall than previous efforts. Ultimately, The Glorious Burden is rather a flawed album that didn’t stand up to the hype that preceded it in the wake of Matt Barlow’s departure and Schaffer’s long-held dissatisfaction with his previous label.

This isn’t a terrible album by any means, but with the exception of the “Gettysburg” trilogy, it is a significant step down from most of their previous releases.

  1. The Star-Spangled Banner
  2. Declaration Day
  3. When the Eagle Cries
  4. The Reckoning (Don't Tread on Me)
  5. Greenface
  6. Attila
  7. Red Baron/Blue Max
  8. Hollow Man
  9. Valley Forge
  10. Gettysburg (1863) Pt 1. -- The Devil to Pay
  11. Gettysburg (1863) Pt 2. -- Hold at All Costs
  12. Gettysburg (1863) Pt 3. -- High Water Mark

Rating: 68%

Monday, November 10, 2008

Australian Idol 9th Finals Week

With just three weeks to go I am becoming increasingly fearful that the Bulletproof Invisible Man is going to be one of those in the Grand Final. Going by Luke's performance tonight, there's only Wes and Mark left to stand in Teale's way. More's the pity in that Teale was actually rather good tonight, as if he'd been waiting to get this far before really turning it on. His first effort was as bland and non-descript as always, but when he came back out later and did a Timberlake song everything just seemed to click. It's as if he's always been destined to do this style of music but until now didn't even realise it. He can't move like JT and is a long way from being JT but he finally made me sit up and notice him tonight.


That's bad news for Luke though, who looks to have come about as far as he can on the show. He sang "With Arms Wide Open" first, dedicating it to his newborn son, and with a newborn son myself the sentiment brought a tear to my eye even though I know this is actually a song about Jesus. He did this one OK, but fell a bit flat with "One of These Nights". Still, Chris Isaak rates him, and that's a pretty solid endorsement.


With Isaak on the judging panel, Spano took the audacious risk of doing "Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing"! Lucky he's good enough to pull it off. "Everybody Hurts" was great too. Can there be any doubt this guy will be one of the last two left?

Wes kicked off with "When You Were Young" and even though I didn't think he was quite as good as he usually is, Isaak has already got him booked into an LA studio with the Killers' producer, making records. This is why Chris Isaak is a very cool dude.

Luke to go tonight. He had a good run though.

UPDATE 9.00pm: Teale got the bullet! Yay.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

EDGUY: Tinnitus Sanctus


Produced by Sascha Paeth

Released: November 14

Edguy is one of those most rare of bands, one that has remained consistently good regardless of what direction they choose to head into. After perfecting their power metal phase with the mighty Mandrake, the band has borne the brunt of criticism for the overtly rock moves they've made since. Hellfire Club remains a deeply contentious pieces of work, with fans old and new either hating it with a passion or praising it as among their best. Even the dubious Rocket Ride had its enjoyable moments, although most punters rightly pointed out that Edguy was in danger of pushing the envelope too far with its disastrous jokey reggae songs and irritating electro-pop experiments.

Tinnitus Sanctus probably won't please all of those who preferred it when Edguy sounded more like Helloween, but it is closer to the darker side of power metal than they have been since Mandrake. This follows the same heavy rocking vein of the last two albums, but they've (all but) dispensed with the goofyness and instead come away with a heavier and more mature creation. Apart a silly ditty about incest done in a mock-hillbilly style -- sensibly tucked away at the end of the album -- virtually all of the irreverent humour of Hellfire Club and Rocket Ride appears to have been stripped away. In its place is a more sombre tone, with Tobias Sammet's lyrics exploring some religious themes on a few of the tracks. As mentioned, there is a darker aspect in the music also, with Sammet singing in a deeper-than-usual register a lot of the time. There is a few concessions to their power metal past evident here and there too, like the choruses of "Sex Fire Religion" and the overall speed of some songs that remains.
Overall, this latest offering is solid as a complete package without a particular highlight, although "Speedhoven" with its older-Edguy style speed metal parts and the opening song "Ministry of Saints" are stand-outs. "Aren't You a Little Pervert Too?" departs from the feel of the rest of Tinnitus Sanctus quite markedly, tacked on the end just to show that Edguy hasn't lost their strange sense of humour in their transition back to the serious side of metal again.
This is not the return to Edguy's power metal days as many would like, but as a development toward a middle ground, Tinnitus Sanctus should please many.
  1. Ministry of Saints
  2. Sex Fire Religion
  3. The Pride of Creation
  4. Nine Lives
  5. Waking Up Dreaming Black
  6. Dragonfly
  7. Thorn Without a Rose
  8. 929
  9. Speedhoven
  10. Dead or Rock
  11. Aren't You a Little Pervert Too?

Rating: 78%


Thursday, November 6, 2008

THE ETERNAL: The Sombre Light of Isolation


Produced by Mark McCormack and The Eternal
Released: 2004

After close to a decade as Cryptal Darkness, line-up changes and wrangles with labels finally resulted in this band becoming The Eternal. With their debut album, this group made its presence felt immediately. The Sombre Light of Isolation is an overwhelming release that was one of the best albums to surface in 2004.

The Eternal didn't exactly break much new ground with this, but what they did was create a masterful album that weaves its slow and majestic way through moments of Katatonia-like melodic Goth metal such as “Down” and “A Cruel Misfortune” to stark, grim tracks like the bleak, rumbling closing track, “All Hope Lost” with a dark sense of purpose. A guest appearance by vocalist Darren White late in the piece provides what is possibly the highlight in the brooding “Remembrance Scars”, a song that evokes the forboding darkness of White-era Anathema or even My Dying Bride’s Turn Loose the Swans. The Sombre Light of Isolation is an album that grows darker as it moves on, with the pairing of the title track plus the awesome “Black Serenity” providing a bridge between the melody-drenched first half and the mournful gloom of the later tracks.

The Eternal won themselves plenty of acclaim with this album, and rightly so. Because it’s a masterpiece.
  1. Commemorate the Misery
  2. A Cruel Misfortune
  3. The Eternal
  4. Down
  5. The Sombre Light of Isolation
  6. Black Serenity
  7. Crimson Sacrifice
  8. Harmony of Dissonance
  9. Remembrance Scars
  10. All Hope Lost

Rating: 98%

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

WEDNESDAY 13: Skeletons


Released: 2008

I can't pretend to have been a big fan of Wednesday 13 previous to this release, but almost immediately Skeletons gave me the distinct impression that it was going to be a heavier and darker album than before, and I wasn't disappointed. The title appears to be an allusion to struggle in his personal life, a concept that he seems to have carried right across most of the endeavour. Purging their personal demons is always a good way for artists to make some of their best work, and it could be because of this that Wednesday 13 has made a pretty good heavy rock record.

The man did a lot of touring with Alice Cooper leading up to the recording of this CD, and it shows; Cooper's influence is all over this, as if 13 sat long hours in the dark listening to early 00s stuff like Brutal Planet and Dragontown over and over again. Skeletons sounds so much like Alice Cooper in fact that at times it's like a lost work that's been uncovered, polished off and beefed up with some modern production. That said, it also bears the hallmarks of 13's Misfits-like horror punk roots with less-than-subtle injections of White Zombie-style groove metal. "Put Your Death Mask On" is heavy with the latter's influence, manifested by a thunderous groove and a raspy growl. The opening track also has a solid metal vibe, ripping into an explosion of churning guitars after a deceptively slower intro. Other songs are more familiar, but with a degree of maturity, particularly in the lyrics that also mirror Alice Cooper's world-weary ironies and clever observations and reflect Wednesday 13's personal demons more than the imaginary ones he's served up before.

Musically Wednesday 13 is hardly re-inventing the wheel here, but he has made a solidly rocking album full of catchy tunes, something else he's learned from the master.


  1. Scream Baby Scream
  2. Not Another Teenage Anthem
  3. Gimme Gimme Bloodshed
  4. From Here to the Hearse
  5. Put Your Death Mask On
  6. Skeletons
  7. My Demise
  8. With Friends Like These...
  9. No Rabbit in the Hat
  10. All American Massacre
  11. Dead Carolina

Rating: 83%

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Australian Idol 8th Finals Week

Do I really need to keep doing this? With five people left, Wes is so far ahead of everyone that they might as well go straight to the Opera House next week. Still, there's always a possibility that he'll fall at the last hurdle and the Invisible Bulletproof Man will take the honours. Anyway, to honour the 25th anniversary of the release of the biggest-selling album of all time, tonight's theme was Michael Jackson songs. Mentor and guest host was his brother Jermaine, one of the more likable members of the clan, although his presence must have put the contestants under a formidable amount of pressure.

The Bulletproof Man headed up tonight's show with a MOR version of "Billie Jean" and just did what he's always done. If this guy was to win, I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to try and mould him into a genuine talent. He approaches every thing he's given with exactly the same formula; indeed, Teale is perhaps the most formulaic, colour-by-numbers performer they've ever had on this show. And that's saying something.

That said, Mark is the Rock Guy and does everything the way a rock guy would, so I guess he's being a bit predictable also. Unfortunately for him, "Bad" was obviously harder than he thought it was. The verses were flat and mumbly; he recovered in the choruses, but this could be the end of him.

Chrislyn stretched herself to the limit by attempting the most histrionic Jackson song of all, "Thriller" and wasn't up to the task (few people would be, after all). She's a great singer, but there's more to that song than just singing it.

Luke consolidated his dark horse status by turning "The Way You Make Me Feel" into a blues song, pulling off probably the performance of his life in the process. Without argument, he was the best up to this point and the one who's coming the furthest of anyone with no sign of stopping yet. He's a very, very clever guy who has every chance of going the distance.

Then Wes came on. A self-confessed MJ nut, he had obviously been perfecting this impression of the guy his entire life. To actually get the chance to do so, in front of Jermaine Jackson of all people, has perhaps been the pinnacle of his existence. Everything about his version of "Black And White" was spot on: the look, the voice, the dancing, the whole package. Wes is the best Idol contestant ever. There should be no argument about this.

Even though Mark was worse than him tonight, Teale needs to go, even if it's just because he's the only one I don't care about. And never have.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

LORD: Hear No Evil


Produced by Lord Tim

Released: Yesterday

Perhaps keen to appease their horde of fans salvating for the follow-up to last year's awesome Ascendence album, LORD has released this EP that no doubt serves as a teaser to that follow-up, a recording that is set to feature a jaw-dropping guest list (believe me when I say this). While consisting of only five songs, "Hear No Evil" clocks in at over 23 minutes, and fans of pure heavy metal should go nuts for at least 19 ½ of those minutes without any reservations.

The two new tracks here, "Set in Stone" and the title track, are further refinements of LORD's style but with even more lead guitar histrionics, if such a thing is indeed possible. Should these two songs be any indication of what the forthcoming album will be like (and I would be amazed if they did not), then it will be a totally barnstorming one. Both original songs are catchy, rifftastic monsters with vocals that are spot-on and some simply epic soloing, with the Eastern-flavoured section of "Set in Stone" a real stand out that pips it slightly over "Hear No Evil" for best track. Live versions of "Through the Fire" and "Going Down" are also included, a blitzkreig of shredding that virtually segue into each other without a break and obviously recorded on a night when the band was absolutely on fire; they almost sound like they're about to burst into Maiden's "Heaven Can Wait" at one point.

The other track is a cover that the band was at pains to keep secret until the EP was released (and were surprisingly successful). LORD has a knack for unexpected cover songs, inserting bits and pieces of Europe, Bon Jovi and other such artists into their live shows, but by including Kylie Minogue's "On a Night Like This" on here they have utterly surpassed themselves. Even Machinae Supremacy doing Britney Spears is barely eyebrow-raising compared to this. Synth-heavy and featuring some breathy vocals from the gloriously talented Tania Moran, this reminds me of nothing more than Gamma Ray's version of "It's A Sin" and should perhaps be taken as seriously. Considering the mileage Frankenbok once got from their gimmicky cover of "Don't Call Me Baby", this could lead to a considerable level of airplay but it could also leave them open to ridicule to outsiders who just don't get the joke. It's either the smartest or the dumbest thing LORD has done.

"Hear No Evil" will no doubt please both long-time fans hankering for the next full-length album and newer ones who've caught the band live somewhere, but while "On a Night Like This" is undoubtedly a bit of fun, it's guaranteed to leave some people totally mystified.



  1. Hear No Evil
  2. Set in Stone
  3. On a Night Like This
  4. Through the Fire (live)
  5. Going Down (live)

Rating: 80%

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

KING DIAMOND: The Puppet Master


Produced by King Diamond, Andy LaRocque and JT Longoria

Released: 2003

King Diamond is one of the most important pioneers and innovators of heavy metal music and as such has developed a reputation among some that makes him almost beyond reproach. It's true that his work with Mercyful Fate and his early solo albums are among metal's greatest works, but he has created some rather patchy stuff over the two decades since then. Abigail II: The Revenge probably rates second only to the awful The Graveyard as his weakest effort in this reviewer's eyes, but on The Puppet Master King Diamond seemed to have rediscovered some real inspiration.

King’s greatest sin over the years has been to allow his story-telling concepts to overshadow the music, resulting in albums that don’t stay long in the memory once they’re over. Thankfully The Puppet Master moves to strongly readdress this, with the band, led by long-serving and under-rated guitarist Andy Larocque, being given some breathing space to churn out some quality songs that show some variation in style now and then to keep things interesting. Another refreshing aspect is King’s obviously restrained vocal performance. Too often in the past he has shifted from mid-range to a growl to one of his ear-piercing shrieks for no apparent reason, often in the middle of a lyric. Here he keeps the histrionics mainly for use as chorus back-ups or added effect where it’s actually needed, and it really works. In a musical sense, this album is unmistakably King Diamond in its idiosyncratic construction but with better riffing and more melody than was apparent on the last few albums previous to this.

Conceptually, the storyline isn’t too far removed from what he has done before, all twisted horror romance and spooky locations, but with the addition of some sorrowful female vocals provided by wife Livia Zita and an enhanced melodic feel, The Puppet Master is one of the King's strongest offerings for many years.


  1. Midnight
  2. The Puppet Master
  3. Magic
  4. Emerencia
  5. Blue Eyes
  6. The Ritual
  7. No More Me
  8. Blood to Walk
  9. Darkness
  10. So Sad
  11. Christmas
  12. Living Dead

Rating: 85%


Monday, October 27, 2008

INK: Black Water Reign

Produced by CJ Martin

Released: November 4, 2008


Leeno Dee has always had an ear for a good tune and a watchful eye on the current musical fashion, but his bands manage to somehow just miss out on taking that next step to true stardom. The Candy Harlots teetered on the brink of success for years but in the end were just too drug-fucked and by the time they got clean the halcyon days for their style of rock had ended. Jerk landed a contract with the world's biggest recording company and then imploded before being able to capitalise on a Top 30 album. So you could probably excuse Ink's well-travelled bass player if he's hoping that this could be third time lucky. With three-quarters of Jerk in the line-up, Ink is essentially the same but stripped of the industrial pretensions that Lamar Lowder brought to that band and geared to appeal to the same audience now that Jerk was after five years ago.


With its combination of emo and what passes for mainstream metal these days, "Black Water Reign" perfectly embodies the style of heavy rock that is proving enormously popular at the moment thanks to the likes of Avenged Sevenfold, and indeed if one was looking for a direct comparison then the Huntington Beach combo would be it. The production is full with ridiculously loud and heavy guitars acting as counterpoint to the melodic vocals of Jonathon Devoy. The musicianship is solid and the songs are driving and catchy with a typical metal-meets-emo sound that is thoroughly generic. Anyone who has heard A7X, Atreyu or anything remotely like this will know even without hearing it exactly what "Black Water Reign" is going to sound like. Ink knows this, but they also know that music like this is amazingly popular and still appears to be swelling in popularity. This is band that isn't about making sweeping, grandiose musical statements in an effort to be seen as artistic or daringly inventive. These guys just care about making music that the kids will go nuts over, and in that endeavour they should well succeed because "Black Water Reign" is as good as or better than anything else of its ilk.

It's totally not my thing but for what it is and for what Ink is trying to do with it, "Black Water Reign" is pretty high quality, doing exactly what it needs to and doing it incredibly well. How well it will do against the tide of almost identical releases remains to be seen.

  1. Any Other Day
  2. My World
  3. Lead or Follow
  4. The Oldest Trick
  5. Cry For Love
  6. Two Minutes Hate
  7. The High Road

Rating: 65%

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Australian Idol: 7th Finals Week

It's starting to get tough now with only six people left. The Rolling Stones was the theme artist on tonight's show, and I suppose if you want to choose a band other than the Beatles whose songs can be interpreted into just about any style then the Stones are it. Plus, they're just awesome.

Teale survived another bullet last week and lo and behold did the same old, same old with "You Can't Always Get What You Want" tonight. Everyone loved it for some reason though, as if he'd actually done something different to what he's done every week. There was really nothing special about him again. Why nobody sees this has me mystified, but he's likely to live on again because Roshani totally failed to nail "Wild Horses" in the same way that she has no idea about clothes. I guess her ethos of testing herself had to bring her unstuck eventually, and it could be that tonight is the night.

Everyone else was great, with Wes and Mark so far out in front only Teale's kevlar suit stands in the way of them being the last two standing. Mind you, Chrislyn is still in with a solid chance with only one stumble so far; her "Get Off My Cloud" was another triumph. Luke remains the dark horse and continues to improve with every step. Tonight he even looked comfortable on stage.

So, either Teale or Roshani for the chop this time, but Teale's apparently bulletproof. I'll leave it there because it's late and I'm buggered.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

GIRLSCHOOL: Legacy


Released: October 27, 2008

One of the bands I used to party pretty hard with during the 90s was Nitocris, whose album Screaming Dolorous I reviewed earlier in the year. Consciously or not, Girlschool was a major influence on that band's sound if not their attitude (which was more inspired by the riot grrrl movement), and therefore it was little surprise that the first track on this album brought back memories of slamming along to Sydney's own female musical demolition team. The irony of this is that I was always a bigger fan of Nitocris than I was of Girlschool, even though if you put the first two songs from Legacy onto ...Dolorous they'd be a perfect fit right down to the riffing and the vocal harmonies. There was probably many reasons for this, but in the end, it all comes down to consistency.

The Legacy of the title is most clearly both a tribute to Girlschool's fallen guitarist Kelly Johnson, who succumbed to spinal cancer on July 17 last year, and a reminder that this band has been kicking around for 30 years now. "Everything's the Same" is a nice solidly rocking opener followed closely by the looser, punkish "From the Other Side" while "I Spy" is a heavier, darker tune with an almost plodding riff. There are actually two versions of this song on the album, the second of which features Ronnie James Dio and Tony Iommi as guests, and with these two giants adding their touches, "I Spy" sounds truly menacing. Elsewhere, Lemmy adds his inimitable gifts (including playing the triangle!) to the thoroughly rambunctious "Don't Talk to Me" that revisits the Headgirl "St. Valentine's Massacre" EP and there's also a reworking of their ridiculously infectious 1979 single "Emergency". All of this type of stuff is what Girlschool did and still does well. Unfortunately, they still also want to be a pop band, which is something they didn't do well as anyone who's ever heard their horrendous teaming with Gary Glitter will attest.

Only a few tracks in and Legacy goes off the rails. "Spend Spend Spend" is completely pointless and "Just Another Day" is also nothing more than disposable pop-punk that even a solo from Phil Campbell can't save. Indeed, the entire middle of the album just seems to consist of filler that only exists for guests like JJ French from Twisted Sister and NWOBHM bandwhore Neil Murray to play on. With "Metropolis", Girlschool gets back on track and the dark rocker "Zeitgeist" (another one Nitocris could have written) is a good build-up to the one-two punch of "Don't Talk to Me" and the Dio/Iommi version of "I Spy". With guest appearances on no less than eight of Legacy's fifteen songs, one could be forgiven for thinking that jamming with some of their friends was indeed Girlschool's sole intention here, and the fact that Johnson's ashes are credited with providing percussion on the opening song adds a ghoulish touch some would likely find disturbing.

Legacy proves that there's still some life in the Girlschool beast yet, but would be so much better if they'd put "Metropolis" after "I Spy" and left out the songs in between.

  1. Everything's the Same
  2. From the Other Side
  3. I Spy (Girlschool mix)
  4. Spend Spend Spend
  5. Whole New World
  6. Just Another Day
  7. Legend
  8. Still Waters
  9. Metropolis
  10. Don't Mess Around
  11. Zeitgeist
  12. Don't Talk to Me
  13. I Spy (Dio/Iommi mix)
  14. Emergency
  15. London

Rating: 67%

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

DREAM EVIL: United


Produced by Frederick Nördstrom

Released: 2006

Over their previous three albums, Dream Evil delivered nothing less than serious heavy metal, and United is no different. With Mark Black and Pat Powers stepping in to replace erstwhile former members Gus G and Snowy Shaw, United takes up exactly where The Book of Heavy Metal left off, as if there hadn’t been a two-year gap between them. Big surprises aren't to be expected of course, because apart from the lack of G’s dizzying shredding, Dream Evil has not diverged a single step from their chosen musical path.
Catchy, fist-pounding heavy metal oozes from every moment of this release. Frederick Nördstrom’s ear for a hook-laden riff and melody-drenched chorus line ensures Dream Evil never puts a foot wrong in that area and his production makes United gleam without faltering into the realm of heavy-handed plasticity. The inherent cheesiness of lyrics about Satan, evil (of course) and metal itself and song titles like “Fire! Battle! In Metal!” notwithstanding, it’s difficult to resist going into a headbanging frenzy while United rips through your speakers.

Where the album falls down, however, is in its overall facelessness. This could be any of Dream Evil’s albums, with the very obvious exception that Black, despite his ability, is no Gus G. Just like any band that sticks strictly to formula, Dream Evil is becoming less relevant and interesting with each release. So far they’ve been lucky and managed to keep up the quality because United is as enjoyable as everything else they’ve done, but one is left with the feeling that it must surely be only a matter of time before they succumb to HammerFall-style mediocrity.


  1. Fire! Battle! In Metal!
  2. United
  3. Blind Evil
  4. Evilution
  5. Let Me Out
  6. Higher on Fire
  7. Kingdom at War
  8. Love is Blind
  9. Falling
  10. Back from the Dead
  11. Doomlord
  12. My Number One

Rating: 70%

Monday, October 20, 2008

DUNGEON: The Final Chapter


Produced by Lord Tim

Released: 2006

The release of a new Dungeon album almost 12 months after the band was put to bed caused a little confusion among some who havd’t followed them as closely as their dedicated and somewhat rabid fanbase. The title of this however, made things pretty obvious: this was Dungeon’s final album. Just like the others, there’s a meticulous attention to detail in everything down to the extensive liner notes detailing the band’s history, but as usual the music is the most important thing. All the regular Dungeon hallmarks like ball-tearing lead breaks and soaring vocals are in place, but most importantly there’s great songs, with added touches like a sprinkle of keyboards and an epic eight and a half minute ballad that isn’t anywhere near as drawn out or as wearisome as such a description might sound.

First track “Pariah” is a thunderous opening that could be Dungeon’s heaviest ever song. Both it and “Better Man” house a sense of anger and frustration that seems to appear elsewhere also, and this second song features an unbelievably ripping guitar solo that must have almost started a fire in the studio. There’s another in the ANZAC song “Gallipoli” that almost trills wildly out of control, but never does. Stunts like this are what set Dungeon apart from other bands of a similar proclivity, a keen sense that sometimes just enough really is just enough. By the same token, it wouldn’t be Dungeon without a little cheese, and here it’s the unashamedly dumb fist-waver “Steelheart” and the lyrics of the ten-minute forty-second title track, although musically this is awesome with dive-bombing guitar solos and clashing and booming drums.

On the production side, The Final Chapter has a more natural feel to it than the over-produced One Step Beyond, particularly in the drum sound. If there is a criticism, it is that the vocals seem a bit lost in the mix and those drums can be a little too up-front here and there but at least that lets you hear what a killer player Tim Yatras is. Another point to the band’s credit is that they’ve made an album with a running time of over an hour that seems like it only goes for forty minutes or so.

When the Dungeon story had to at last come to a close, The Final Chapter certainly saw it go out in style.

  1. Pariah
  2. Better Man
  3. Curse of the Pharaohs
  4. Fire of Time
  5. Gallipoli
  6. Life is a Lie
  7. Steelheart
  8. The Final Chapter

Rating: 90%

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Australian Idol 6th Finals Week

The Motown phenomonon was responsible for some of the best pop songs ever written. They were simple, catchy and easy for an artist to interpret to their own style. So for any Idol contestant to have come as far as this, Motown night shouldn't be that much of a challenge because only the most untalented cretin could possibly mess up these songs. Inaugural Idol winner Guy Sebastian was a guest judge tonight, but he's such a nice guy that calling him a judge is probably stretching the definition of the word a bit. Perhaps "advisor" would be a better term; he released an album of Motown and soul stuff this year so I suppose he has some area of expertise in the field in any case.

As I said, it would actually be hard for any of these people to make a fist of it tonight unless their voices blew out so it was really a question of who was going to be the worst best or the least good. As usual, Mark and Wes have such an intrinsic grasp on their muse that tonight was going to be a walk in the park for them. Mark's "You Keep Me Hanging On" was perfectly restrained and Wes put plenty of his own personality into "If I Were a Carpenter". Chrislyn recovered from her stumble last week with a sassy "Get Ready" but Motown is so close to her preferred style that a misfire from her tonight would have been utterly unexpected. Forpossibly the easiest song she's done so far, Roshani didn't seem quite as confident as she should have been and sounded like she was mumbling a bit at the start, although she finished well. Luke's been nagged to try out his "sweet notes" for the past six weeks and tonight he actually gave it a bash. It's certainly the aspect of his voice that needs more work but I didn't hear any dud notes or straining so I reckon he did OK once again.

That leaves Teale and Sophie. Teale was the Invisible Man again, as he always is, not really standing out in any way and Sophie didn't impress one way or the other either. That said, she's had some moments where she really has shined and he's had none, so it's off with his head this week.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

THE UNCREATION: Sleeping in R'lyeh


Released: 2006

The aliases should have given it away, but looking at the photos of the guys in the booklet, I first assumed that Perth’s The Uncreation would be a knock-about thrash unit. Then, after the funny intro, the band starts playing Emperor-style melodic black metal! “At War With God” is blistering tremolo melodies and grim, almost spectral vocals at a feverish pace. From here, The Uncreation checks into Deströyer 666-style territory with “The Fall of Jehova” that segues into a quiet acoustic passage before plunging into breakneck thrash once again.

The title track has a cool slow crunch and evil-sounding vocals that wrap themselves around one of Lovecraft’s chants from The Call of Cthulu very agreeably at the end and “Black Earth” is more fast black metal. “The Great Nothingness” and “The Testimony” are both 8-minute epics, the first a dark doom piece with suitably atmospheric keyboards and the second rounding out the album much the way it started.

Sleeping in R’lyeh has a nice diversity about it that never gets too clever for its own good and the production makes the material stand pretty tall. Overall, this is quite a strong debut effort. The Uncreation (formerly known as Nemesis, one of the most overused band names ever) have put together something of a surprise package here that should appeal to black, thrash and death fans alike.


  1. Intro
  2. At War With God
  3. The Fall of Jehovah
  4. Hypocritical, Lies, Divine
  5. Dreaming in R'lyeh
  6. The Great Nothingness
  7. Black Earth
  8. Awaiss
  9. The Testimony

Rating: 70%