HELLOWEEN: Unarmed - Best of 25th Anniversary

Produced by Charlie Bauerfeind

Released: 29 January

Have you ever been slapped in the face by someone you love? If you're a Helloween fan, that's what this album is like. More than once over the course of their storied career, Helloween has left their audience wondering as to what the Hell they had been thinking. While they've pretty much led the European power metal brigade since arriving on the scene, after Kai Hansen left back in '89 they churned out Pink Bubbles Go Ape and Chameleon, albums so oddly un-Helloween they've left fans scratching their heads in amazement ever since. The former of the pair is just bad heavy metal but perhaps forgiveable for a band recovering from having its creative heart ripped out; the latter an oddball collection of experiments in all sorts of musical styles that was virtually not metal at all.

Considering Chameleon almost ended the band and remains the most reviled of their albums by both critics and fans, it's difficult to understand the reasoning behind Unarmed. Helloween isn't beyond some experimentation from time to time, but above and beyond everything else, they're the world's best known power metal band. People like them because they play power metal! So what does this most revered and fanatically-followed arch-power metal band do to celebrate 25 years as a recording artist? With obviously little thought to the idea that it is, in fact, a really bad idea, they kick off Unarmed with an acoustic pop-rock version of "Dr Stein" -- with a horns section! Seriously, how could they top that? Well, how about taking the huge booming drums and galloping guitars completely out of "Eagle Fly Free" and turning it into an acoustic ballad? I won't even mention what they've done to "I Want Out". It's almost as if someone abducted Helloween and replaced them with a second-rate Eurovision entrant from Belarus. It really is that bad. If this is supposed to be a thank you to the fans, I'd hate to see what an insult would be like.

Somewhat amazingly, however, "The Keeper's Trilogy", a 17-minute orchestral medley of "Halloween", "Keeper of the 7 Keys" and "The King for a 1000 Years" is actually pretty good, mainly because they translate well to a symphonic treatment due to their original epic nature. It doesn't save the rest of the album though, because the rest of it is harebrained beyond imagining.

1. Dr Stein
2. Future World
3. If I Could Fly
4. Where the Rain Grows
5. The Keeper's Trilogy (Halloween/Keeper of the 7 Keys/The King For a 1000 Years)
6. Eagle Fly Free
7. Perfect Gentleman
8. Forever & One
9. I Want Out
10. Fallen to Pieces
11. A Tale That Wasn't Right

Rating: 35%