Released: 2001
One of the things I look for in a metal band is what it chooses to call itself. Hailing as they do from France, a country that also boasts bands called Fairyland and Magic Kingdom*, it could be just some kind of cultural thing, but for some reason the name Heavenly just doesn't sound very metal to me. Not knowing much about them before I dared to listen to this album for the first time, I did some Googling and the results were quite amusing, as it turned out that a group of people on a message board I occasionally visited had got most upset when they read a review of this album that asked "Is this band serious? This album should be filed under 'comedy'." Several of them went so far as writing voluminous essays defending this stupidly-named band and even dumber-monikered album, so I knew what I was getting myself into as I prepared to press "play".
Comedy is almost right. Seriously, I almost pissed myself when I listened to this! Heavenly is limp-wristed saccharine-coated cheese metal that makes Narnia look like the heaviest band of all time. Wanky, unimaginative songs filled with unbridled widdly-diddly guitar masturbation and enough castralto vocals to make you puke, Sign of the Winner epitomises everything that power metal's critics point to as bad and magnifies them to the nth degree. This is the kind of crud that makes people think that power metal fans are nothing but dorks with big thick glasses who get their thrills from Dungeons And Dragons and trading Spiderman comics. If there are any redeeming features, it is that it's all good for a laugh, even though it clearly isn't intended to be. And it goes on like this for almost an hour, song after song of embarrassing try-hard Helloween worship that seems to get more and more vacuous and empty as it goes on.
Heavenly is one of those bands that really proves that it takes more than just musical skill to make a good band. Sometimes it also requires restraint and the ability to write a decent song.
One of the things I look for in a metal band is what it chooses to call itself. Hailing as they do from France, a country that also boasts bands called Fairyland and Magic Kingdom*, it could be just some kind of cultural thing, but for some reason the name Heavenly just doesn't sound very metal to me. Not knowing much about them before I dared to listen to this album for the first time, I did some Googling and the results were quite amusing, as it turned out that a group of people on a message board I occasionally visited had got most upset when they read a review of this album that asked "Is this band serious? This album should be filed under 'comedy'." Several of them went so far as writing voluminous essays defending this stupidly-named band and even dumber-monikered album, so I knew what I was getting myself into as I prepared to press "play".
Comedy is almost right. Seriously, I almost pissed myself when I listened to this! Heavenly is limp-wristed saccharine-coated cheese metal that makes Narnia look like the heaviest band of all time. Wanky, unimaginative songs filled with unbridled widdly-diddly guitar masturbation and enough castralto vocals to make you puke, Sign of the Winner epitomises everything that power metal's critics point to as bad and magnifies them to the nth degree. This is the kind of crud that makes people think that power metal fans are nothing but dorks with big thick glasses who get their thrills from Dungeons And Dragons and trading Spiderman comics. If there are any redeeming features, it is that it's all good for a laugh, even though it clearly isn't intended to be. And it goes on like this for almost an hour, song after song of embarrassing try-hard Helloween worship that seems to get more and more vacuous and empty as it goes on.
Heavenly is one of those bands that really proves that it takes more than just musical skill to make a good band. Sometimes it also requires restraint and the ability to write a decent song.
- Break the Silence
- Destiny
- Sign of the Winner
- The World Will be Better
- Condemned to Die
- The Angel
- Still Believe
- The Sandman
- Words of Change
- Until the End
Rating: 20%
*Update May 18: It turns out Magic Kingdom is from Belgium, not France. But it doesn't matter because it's still a gay name for a metal band, wherever they may be from.
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