TIMELESS MIRACLE: Into the Enchanted Chamber

Produced by Anders Theander and Pontus Lindmark

Released: 2005

Power metal fans who stumble across this blog will most likely find themselves wondering why I continue review bands of that ilk when I clearly don't seem to like them and can only find horrible things to say about them. The strange truth is that power metal of the European kind is the sort of metal that I should like, because it is melodic and catchy but for some reason I end up hating it because almost all of it ends up as overwrought, over-polished symphonic dreck that comes off as shameless Helloween cloning. So, imagine, if you will, what Rhapsody would sound like if Fabio Leone was replaced by Kai Hansen from Gamma Ray. That should give you some idea of what Timeless Miracle is like. Then imagine what I must think of it. If that isn't too difficult, you can just skip to the rating at the bottom without reading the rest of the review. If you'd like to find out anyway, read on.

This Swedish band's debut album is nothing more than a completely shameless clone of every idea those two bands (Rhapsody and Gamma Ray) have ever had, without any attempt to develop any kind of identity of its own. Utterly unimaginative titles like "Curse of the Werewolf", "Witches of Black Magic" and (so help me) "Return of the Werewolf" combine with generic, totally unoriginal songs to create an overly long excursion into regurgitated tedium. I had only listened to two and a half songs of this CD when I started to write these words, but I had already heard enough of this mammoth, one-hour plus long effort to know what I was going to hear. Into the Enchanted Chamber is symphonic power metal where the keyboards completely dominate the sound, taking on the role of folk instruments, flutes, string sections, accordions and all manner of different things at different times. This would be striking if Rhapsody hadn't done it so much better years ago (then overdone it to the point of being ridiculous). The guitars are mostly relegated to pumping out heavily clichéd power metal riffs at ridiculous speeds, along with the occasional melody line here and there.

By the time I had forced myself to listen to most of the stupidly over-extended 14-minute closing number, I felt like making my way to some German power metal festival and slaughtering everyone there for making this sort of thing popular enough that a band without a single original idea could get signed to a label and release an album so creatively bereft. There is nothing at all timeless about this, and the only miracle is that I didn't smash this CD into a million pieces.

1. Curse of the Werewolf
2. Witches of Black Magic
3. Into the Enchanted Chamber
4. The Devil
5. The Red Rose
6. A Minor Intermezzo
7. Return of the Werewolf
8. Memories
9. The Gates of Hell
10. Down to the Gallows
11. The Dark Side Forest
12. The Voyage

Rating: 25%