DENIED: ...When the Slate Becomes Diamonds

Released: June 2008

Anyone who's followed this blog closely will know just how much I love power metal, and Italian power metal in particular. Denied (or perhaps just singer Stefano Bottari, who's apparently the only person left in the band these days) obviously know this because ...When the Slate Becomes Diamonds seems to be sending up their country's ridiculously awful power metal scene. Just check out that cover. In case you can't see it very well, it's a dude in spiky armour smashing a guitar into the ground with so much force that diamonds are flying out. And they have a song called "Ride to the Land of the Machine Guns"! If that isn't the greatest power metal song-title of all time then I don't know what is. While some bands are clearly unintentional self-parodies with idiotic names it seems that Denied at least knows how silly this whole schtick really is and don't try to play it all that straight. After all, they do have a song about riding to a land full of machine guns that has one of the most rousing choruses in the history of bad heavy metal.

Musically, Denied tap the Maiden-crossed-with-Helloween Euro-power vein mercilessly until every song sounds pretty much alike and by the brilliantly-named "Before Then After Later" you've really heard everything this band is ever likely to do (and dragging out the last track for almost ten minutes is over-playing an already over-played hand beyond most limits of patience). Still, for a one-trick pony, Denied are amusing enough that you might listen to this album all the way through and even put it on again once in a while, even if it's just to blare it loudly in the background while you swill beer. It's dumb in a way that so many band pretend they're not, and because of this it's totally inoffensive and somewhat likeable. For a little while anyway.

1. The Dawn
2. When the Slate Becomes Diamonds
3. Denied
4. The Waste Remains and Kills
5. Ride to the Land of the Machine Guns
6. Before Then After Later
7. Horrorama
8. Quest for Deliverance
9. Circle of Fire
10. Bearers of the Slate

Rating: 40%